my journey.... with others

Sterwens Gesang

2010-05-14T16:28:00.006+02:00

[vir Louisa Dorethea Mulder]

(na aanleding van WH Auden se gedig: “Funeral Blues”; verwerk deur Dries Lombaard)

Stop die horlosies, trek uit die foon;
Maak stil die musiek se vrolike toon.
Maak toe die klavier, en op ritmiese trom
Dra stadig die kis, laat die roubeklaers kom.
Laat orrelsang speel op eensame noot
Laat ons huil en ween: ons ma is dood.

Geen grappe, geen feeste – voel die seer en die sleg;
Laat ons mekaar styf vashou en huil – want sy is weg.
Los koerante, radio, los werk, vergeet sport
Sy was so lank met ons, hoekom voel dit so kort?

Sy was ‘n vrou, ‘n mamma, ‘n ouma, ‘n vriendin;
Lief vir die bosveld, die see, ‘n mooi Afrikaanse sin…
Met kleinkinders om haar kon sy vir jou wys:
Hoe ‘n skulp gevorm is… hoe beskuit moet rys.

Skakel die sterre af, pak op die son en die maan
Laat die see stil word, laat die tyd stil staan.
Sy is by haar Here, haar geliefdes - haar wedloop is oor;
Sy sit aan by ‘n feesmaal, geniet die engelekoor.

Die wete gee vrede, maar verlange sal groei
Dis die seer van haar lee plek wat ons harte laat bloei.
Louisa Dorethea, watter vrou – watter ma!

Vandag rou ons oor jou, en oor ons eensame pa.

Stop die horlosies, trek uit die foon;
Maak stil die musiek se vrolike toon.
Maak toe die klavier, en op ritmiese trom
Dra stadig die kis, laat die roubeklaers kom.
Laat orrelsang speel op eensame noot
Laat ons huil en ween: ons ma is dood.

All work and no play....

2010-03-30T02:55:00.005+02:00

As always, Len Sweet got my mind racing during the last Water Advance at Orcas Island with his thought provoking statements. When introducing his wife to those in the group who has never met her before, he made the following remark: "Elizabeth and I does not work on our marriage. Just as one does not "work a violin".... you play it. Our marriage is a melody and a symphony, and we play it together."

Obviously a broken violin needs work and cannot be played, but, having played the violin for many years myself, I now that NOT playing it regularly (daily!) leads to the instrument losing it's tone. The more you play it, the more beautiful its sound becomes.

I love the analogy. And I also think it is not only true of a marriage. It is true of all relationships. Of friendships. Of parenting. And, of course, of your relationship with God. Do you approach it as work, or as play? (Play not merely in a sense of "fun" - that also! - but in a sense of "making music").

I honestly believe that "working" on your relationship with God in a structured, doctrinal and formulated way is not the way to get the symphony between yourself and God playing. That is why I believe that religion is a deadly toxin. It makes us "work on God". We need to be in harmony with God, with Him playing us - like an instrument of beauty. And us allowing Him to get the beautiful sounds out of who we are.

Maybe other metaphors works better for you, like "painting" or "sculpting" or "poetry". The bottom line here is we need to get away from the burdensome moralistic approach to our relationship with God. He gave us Jesus for a reason: to help us become creators (like Him) rather than slaves of religion.

Loving being in love

2010-02-18T20:32:00.005+02:00

We've just passed Valentines Day. Me and my wife never really take notice of Valentines Day. This year, we actually thought about going away for the day, but in the end just being home and having a quiet Sunday won hands down.

Today my eldest, about to turn thirteen, out of the blue asked us when we sat together before dinner" "Are you guys still in love".

True to her female side, my wife immediately replied: "Of course yes!"

True to my male side, I replied: "Of course not."

Oops.
The stares burned holes through my being.

I tried to recover with an innocent question: "What do you mean with 'in love'?"

"Well, do you feel awkward when you see each other, and think about each other all the time when you are apart?"

"Nope" I replied. My wife's glance prompted a swift response.
"You are referring to being in love, yes. But we are passed that. We simply love each other. The difference is this: We do not feel awkward when we see each other, but when we don't see each other. And we do not think of each other all the time when we are apart, but when we are together, we think ahead about not being together..."

"Sweet...." replied my teenage daughter. My wife's smile confirmed my recovery.

Afterwards I thought about what I said (typical male, I know). And I realized that it actually makes a lot of sense, and that it is true. Loving someone turns the table from being 'in love'. Being together becomes the norm, and being apart becomes the weird part.

I think being in love is the lift off that the spaceship needs. But staying the course on the long journey in space is what makes it all worth while.

Review of "A Million Miles in a Thousand Years"

2010-02-17T14:56:00.004+02:00

Donald Miller became a favourite author of mine the day I started reading "Blue like Jazz", a couple of years ago. With "A Million Miles in a Thousand Years" he did not disappoint me.... to the contrary.

I do not know what it is about Miller's writing style that is so captivating. Even in the slowish way that this book started, he kept me interested, expecting something to happen on the next page. About a quarter through the book, I was intrigued with the way he brings the whole meaning and relevance of "the story" to the forefront. I felt motivated to sign up for one of Robert McKee's workshops myself!!

But it is in the last quarter of the book that Don got to me in a big way. I am not sentimental, not in the least. I even dread people who likes to create "moments". But the honesty, and realness of the stories that Don tells, griped me deep. I never cry while reading. Not with this book either. But I did cry on the inside...

I think the skillful way in which Don miller weaves hope, love and honesty together in a tapestry of life, is what makes this book a must read. But even more - a must have. Because there are parts of it you will definitely want to read to your spouse at bedtime. Like I will do with chapter Chapter 24, tonight.

One sentence that sums the book up best for me personally? The last sentence of Chapter 30: "We have to make altars." Go figure. [Go read].

Forests and Plantations

2009-11-27T04:07:00.005+02:00

Ever got lost in a dense, tropical forest? Every tree later looks the same. Plantations are different. You don’t get lost there, really, as you can simply follow the neatly structured row of trees until it leads you out of the woods.

The buzz word in society today is “organic”. The more organic, the better. Organic means natural, living and pure. But organic can also be faked. Growing something in controlled environments and then calling it organic is, well, not really the “real thing”, is it? Its like the difference between standing in front of an electric fan, and standing outside in the wind. Feels similar. Is not.

What makes a forest different to a plantation is not the fact that it is growing and living. It is more about “how” it grows, and lives. The structured and controlled environment of a plantation is very purposeful. It is about production. Period. Does not make it less alive, or less organic… to an extend. But it does make it controlled, planned and maintained. For a reason.

Our spiritual lives could be plantations, or forests. Both is very much alive. Both is real. But, in my view, only one is truly “organic”. It is the uncontrolled, naturally growing and humanly unmaintained one. When the nature of it maintains it, it is truly organic.

And still – it is the same life-giving creator God who makes forests and plantations grow….

Goodfellas

2009-10-26T13:23:00.004+02:00

This is a time where a lot of people are seriously into "sensing". You hear and read a lot about "sensing and feeling". Spirituality comes to the forefront as a lot more sensing than thinking. I am learning to sense. To use my senses. To "come to my senses". To be sensible.

Most of all, we need to get a sense of life. We need to learn to read the signs of the times - which is a lot more sensing than anything else. It is something that is caught, more than taught.
I had the privilege to have many guests share my home in the past couple of years. Many of them foreigners - mainly from the USA. All of them became friends... some very close friends.

I just had a great time of fun and laughter, learning and discussion, chilling out and being serious, with two new friends from the States. They taught me a lot about Christ, His church, community, the Bible, people etc. But most of all, the sensibility of having fun - always. I had so much fun woven through the work we did, that the work was also more fun than ever.

They taught me to sense things in a very new and different way.

One sense that they have more than most other guests that I have received, is a sense of humour. They can laugh! They love to make fun. To create it. To sustain it. They have a sense of the importance of laughing, playing, having fun, chilling out, hanging, just being.

Religion made us "serious". Spirituality makes us "deep". Maybe a good dose of regular humour is exactly what we need to become human again.

I sensed a lot of their spirituality and wisdom more through their sense of humour than I did through a sense of seriousness.

I am sensing something new. Something beautiful. Something that you must sense, before you will see it.

I think I sense freedom of another kind.

Thanks Frankie V and "Joey" R. You're good fellas. "This is what I was talkin about all this time."

Inventions & Designs

2009-09-04T17:05:00.004+02:00

More often than not, when part of a planning initiative, project start-up or new venture, the following words are uttered: "Let's just not re-invent the wheel." And then everybody nods slowly to affirm this very deep wisdom.

I also found that the moment those words are spoken, it is like blowing out the candle of creativity and initiative. Hhmmm....

I am not at all sure that this statement is a sign of wisdom... at all. I mean, why on earth would anybody who is in any why informed want to re-invent something that already exists? Someone who re-invents anything, is simply doing so out of ignorance.

We need to distinguish between the necessity of new inventions, and the absolute necessity of new designs. Any creative mind will always strive to keep on re-designing. And we absolutely need to do so. It is being well informed, that leads to new designs. The more you know, the more you know what is needed.

We cannot re-invent leadership, but we constantly need to re-design it.
New day, new leader.
We cannot re-invent parenting, but we constantly need to re-design it.
New day, new parent.
We cannot re-invent humanity, but we constantly need to re-design it.
New day. New world.
We cannot re-invent ourselves, but we constantly need to re-design ourselves.
New day. New me.

We cannot re-invent the gospel of shalom (wholeness).
But I am absolutely convinced that we need to constantly re-design it.

New day. New hope.

[So, before you ask the "re-invention-question" ever again, firts make sure you are part of a group of inventors... and not designers.]

Another brick in the wall

2009-08-24T20:11:00.009+02:00

I am a Pink Floyd fan. Always have been. Pink Floyd did not compose mere music. They composed poetry in sound. Their classic 1979 album "The Wall" (also made into a movie in 1982) was especially well known for the single "Another Brick in the Wall, Part 2" ("... we don't need no education...")

This stunning album already communicated something of what I am thinking off a lot lately... namely about the difference between bricks and stones.

There are obvious similarities and obvious differences between bricks and stones. The most obvious difference is that bricks are man made, stones are formed by nature. Bricks are also shaped by humans... usually in neat squared shapes that looks the same, handles the same and fits neatly on top of each other. All the same size, the same colour, the same shape.

Stones are different. No two stones will ever look exactly alike. Some stones are rough around the edges, whilst others are smooth and shiny. This all depends on the substance that they are formed out off, as well as the process that formed and shaped them.

When building with bricks, one needs cement to firmly mold the bricks together. Same-shaped bricks will fall over by simply sliding off each other. Building with stones are different. The rough and unique edges of the stones are what gives them their strength and keeps the structure standing. They cannot simply slide over the sameness... the edges provide the stability.

Finally, bricks are manufactured in a mechanical process in a relative short time frame. Bricks are moulded, shaped, and baked in extreme heat in order to make them strong and hard. Stones on the other hand are formed with one process only - time.

Some people prefer to work with bricks, or even to be handled as a brick. Others prefer stones, and also regard themselves as stones. But stones do not fit into our consumer driven culture of mass production and 'more-of-the-same' attitudes and approaches. We exchanged stones for bricks. It builds faster. You can have more of it. It is less labour intensive.

But it is also not unique.

I am astounded how our times and culture are all the more built upon "sameness", and how the beautiful and scarce value of uniqueness are simply discarded for fast moving, high building, cheap selling and popular-in-demand fads.

In our families, we turned stones into bricks.
In our schools, we turned stoned into bricks.
In our churches, we turned stones into bricks.
In our relationships, we turned stones into bricks.
In our dreams, we turned stones into bricks.

Because we have no patience. And we are constantly desiring more.... And more..... And more of the same.

Just another brick in the wall...

Rockets & Fireworks

2009-08-19T18:35:00.018+02:00

There is something about a display of energy that attracts people over the world. Be it a powerful display of sound (music), water (waterfalls), wind (tornadoes), electricity (lightning) or explosions (demolitions) - it will always have spectator value.

One such controlled-energy display that is already a tradition worldwide of spectator festivities, is that of fireworks. Associated with parties end celebrations, fireworks light up the sky at New Year celebrations, Christmas Eve, birthday parties and sports events. The colourful display combined with the sounds of explosion is simply spectacular. (The best live display of fireworks I ever saw was at Disneyland in California...)

There is another spectacular and very explosive display of controlled energy and force that always draws the crowds: the launching of a rocket. Especially the major space rockets that launches into space, or towards the moon or mars - those ones are not only something that makes all the eyes in the area look in the same direction - it is always broadcast live over television to millions of viewers worldwide.

Both these displays have energy in common. Fire. Sound. Light. Smoke.
But there is one major difference between rockets and fireworks: After the "wow" is over, only one of the two still has a purpose. And that purpose is a destination....

Fireworks has a purpose. It's purpose is to "wow" and entertain. It's purpose is the spectacle of controlled energy. The show. And after the show is over, the burned out sticks are picked up by kids... useless.Rockets have purpose too. It's purpose is a destination. A target. But it also delivers a spectacular show of controlled energy at the start. And when the spectacle is over, the mission has only started.... destination mars.
This is so very true also in the world of programmes, marketing, selling, training, leadership, media, religion and many others. Some exists for the "wow". Others look far beyond the spectacle, towards the destination. Locked onto target. Mission go.

When someone tries to 'woo' you with an idea, a programme, a vision or a product, always try to discern if they are selling you rockets or fireworks. Fireworks can be very spectacular and amazing - but then that must be what you are looking for - and mere entertainment must be your goal. The problem is that most salespeople, politicians, trainers, consultants, clergy, talk show hosts, therapists, lawyers or evangelists of some kind, will try to sell you a destination, but deliver only a show.

Three years ago I made a value based decision, after being in the "religious fireworks industry" for nearly ten years: That I will never again promote fireworks as rockets, and never again promise a destination, but only deliver a show. This decision had one major and immediate effect: it marginalized me from the mainstream. Because the mainstream - unfortunately - is in it for the colourful display of controlled energy and force, and not for the intensive and focussed mission that follows after the launch. I even branded a mantra for my new found value: "I don't do models. I am a sculptor."

An outer space destination-based rocketlaunch will always be on every body's lips. But at the end, there are very few astronauts.

Most are satisfied with a firework display that simply "wows" the crowd.

The DNA of almost anything

2009-08-03T21:20:00.014+02:00

The metaphor of DNA has been used in more ways than needed. But is stays a very real and very powerful concept. The fact that there exists some code within life, a code that is 100% unique, is incredible. A formula that determines every aspect of identity.

A couple of days ago I had a very insightful discussion with a man that I regarded as a mentor in my life for the last 25 year. He did not know it, because his influence on me was mainly through books and audio teachings. We have also never met before.
I made the appointment with him to go and ask some very specific questions. I needed practical advice and wisdom. It turned out to be a conversation where he asked almost all the questions. I tried to answer, but what he did was only to direct my thinking. And boy, did he succeed.

Our discussion started off around a specific project. I went for advice. Strategic advice. But he kept on asking questions about the people involved in the project. Who they are. What they do. Who contributes what. The dynamics. The relations.

Then he switched gears, and started to ask questions about values. What are the values that are important to the members of the team? How do you know it? What do they talk about? What are their specific involvements? What do you think motivates each one to be part?

Just when I started to wonder if this Q&A was going to lead anywhere, he came up with the slam dunk question: "Now, how does these personalities, backgrounds, values, motivations, contexts, passions, talents, skills and temperaments - how does all this align with each other? Where does the differences in the people compliment... and where does it complicate?"

Hmmmm.....

It was very quiet for a moment at the coffee table where we sat. I realised what he just showed me.
The silence was answer enough for him.

"Do you really want my advice now?" he asked quietly.
"Absolutely" I answered, kind of expecting that some major wisdom was coming.

"Nothing we ever do in life is really about the planning, the strategy, the resources or even about the need for it to be done. Nothing. Everything we do is about the compatibility of 'DNA' between the people that is involved. And 'DNA' comes down to one specific concept: values. If values are not absolutely aligned, there is just no way the venture will succeed. Yes, it might make money. It might help certain people in certain ways. But not too long, and those who need to provide the vision and energy behind it will pull out. And some of them will end up rating it as valuable time of their life that was wasted, that they can never retrieve. And they will be absolutely correct...."

He thought for a while, and then continued:

"If you want to be involved in anything significant in life, do not regard the plan, strategy, the need or even the timing as the core issue. Focus on the people involved. If they are aligned... if their 'DNA' matches, they will make any plan or strategy work. And they will have a great time doing it. This holds true for relationships like friendships, marriage, families or partnerships, right through to teams, committees or even governments. Any venture that eventually fails, fails because of the misalignment of values, or the abandonment of a value that they started with.

And keep in mind that alignment is not the same as agreement. You can be 100% aligned with someone and disagree... or you can agree 100% and be in total misalignment."

I don't know about you, but I have an sort of "spiritual" experience when I sense that I am hearing or seeing profound truth and wisdom. I want to capture the sounds, treasure it. Never forget it. Apply it.

The 'DNA' of just about everything you can do in life, lies in the fact that unity and momentum comes from aligned values. What those values are specifically... well, that is as random as the combination of people you could put together. But be in alignment with specific core values so that it becomes the fuel that drives the initiative or partnership, and you will make any plan, model or strategy work. Rely only on a vision, a need, a purpose or resources to ensure success - and ignore value-alignment, and you can expect dysfunction from pretty soon in the process. Or people will seem to get along, but the project, movement, venture or dream will be still-born. Dead in the water.

I wish I could teach my kids this truth in a way that they realise how profound it is, and how much pain and disappointment it could spare them in life.

Alignment of 'DNA'.
Clarity on their values.
Honesty and courage to communicate it openly.

This is not merely theoretical jargon. The wisdom of it is very, very practical....

Lessons from an Actuary

2009-07-26T10:11:00.009+02:00

The world of an actuary has always been a complete mystery to me. To be able to fill your existence with numbers, statistics and formulas, and thereby make predictions and evaluations... well, that is a skill that I simply cannot master. I have never had much abilities with mathematics. (Nope, that is an overstatement. I have never had any skills in that regard!)

The other session that I really enjoyed at the Leadership Summit (see my previous post), was the one by Adrian Gore, the CEO of Discovery Holdings. This committed Jewish businessman really has his ducks in a row.

Gore spoke on the topic "The 7 Attributes of Success". This session was in a way in complete contrast to Shaun Tompson's session - obviously. The worlds of a professional surfer and a Actuary does not seem to have that much in common. And still, when you listened to the lessons behind the words, you realized that both of them share the same incredible virtue: to learn lessons from life and apply them diligently.

Gore's 7 Attributes sounds very simple and may even appear a bit "cliche":

Positivity and Optimism
Set Dreams and Goals
Have a sense of urgency
Never stop learning
Be persistent and work hard
Innovation
Integrity and Honesty

True to his world and nature, each point had some statistic or graph underlying it. But one thing made it very special: it came from real life experience and not from textbooks or "Leadership Bestsellers".

Here is my short take-out from each of his 7 Attributes:

Positivity and Optimism: We are very good at setting scenarios. but very bad at setting probabilities. Decisions should be backed up more with the probability factor that with the scenario-factor that we paint. Also: positivity is all about the ability to embrace difficulties.
Set Dreams and Goals: Adults lose their ability to dream. Dreams and goals are a lot more important than a good plan. Aiming for a flawless plan is a foolish approach. Aiming for a dream or goal sustains energy and commitment.
Sense of urgency: Time is limited. We live by perceived time - not by linear time. By perceived time you have lived 86% of your life by the age of 40! Each day is more precious than you will ever know - until it is too late.
Never stop learning: Conditioning has a very negative impact on how we think. We live in a pre-conditioned society. Breaking out of conditioning is the art to really living. Learning helps you break the conditioning mould.
Persistence: You can always work harder, and always do more. Decision is the most powerful driving force in your total ability.
Innovation: Creativity leads to innovation. Innovation is the art of taking risks and thinking in new paradigms.
Integrity and Honesty: Any sacrifice are made worth while by integrity and honesty.

Surfers Code

2009-07-24T19:28:00.010+02:00

On Wednesday I had the privilege to be at the Discovery Invest Leadership Summit, in Sandton, Johannesburg. I must confess, although I have been at numerous Leadership Summits in the faith/church environment over the years, this is the first one that I attend that is solely a business event.

I really enjoyed it a heck of a lot. It gave me renewed focus, motivation and insight into cutting edge leadership issues. And I must be very honest: it was refreshing to hear truths with no "Christianeze" inbetween!

Although there was famous speakers like Sir Richard Branson and Malcolm Gladwell (author of best sellers like The Tipping Point, Blink and Outliers), the best sessions in my view was presented by two local guys - Shaun Tomson (yep, the surfer) and Adrian Gore, CEO of Discovery Holdings.

(In fact, I was somewhat disappointed with Gladwell, as he merely told stories underlying his latest book, Outliers. And if you've read the book, his session was kind of a waste of valuable time. Branson was a huge disappointment, as he read his whole speech from a big screen at the back of the hall, in such a way that I actually saw some people yawning and scratching on their notepads. Not at all expected from the "Screw it, let's do it" guy!!)

Shaun Tomson started the day with a bang (or, shall I say "a spash"?). He spoke on the topic "The Surfer’s Code: 12 Simple Lessons for Riding Through Life", (also the title of a book he published in October 2006, only a few months after his 15 year old son died in a tragic event) and he had everyone spellbound. He was the best polished and natural public speaker on the day, with a fluent and relaxed style, filled with wisdom, humour, honesty and authority. I would have never expected to experience such a leadership lesson from a... well, surfer. (Just shows you how messed up our view of leadership could be...).

He shared gripping events from his life - as a world champion sportsman, a successful businessman, a parent and a human being.

The "Surfers Code" that he shared, and that he unpacked in real life metaphors, are as follows:

never turn my back on the ocean
always paddle back out
take the drop with commitment
know that there will always be another wave
realize that all surfers are joined by one ocean
paddle around the impact zone
never fight a rip tide
watch out for other surfers after a big set
pass on my stoke to a non-surfer
ride, and not paddle in to shore
catch a wave every day, even in my mind
honor the sport of kings

The biggest take out for me, I think, is that I realized again that 'leadership' and 'life' has the same basic challenges, values, approach and outcome.

You cannot succeed in the one and fail in the other. You cannot learn about the one and ignore the other.

You cannot separate the two - because nobody was ever led anywhere by a corpse.

The Jesus Way

2009-06-23T04:00:00.004+02:00

I am in San Antonio, Texas with a friend, attending the Renovare Conference entitled "The Jesus Way".

The speakers are people like Eugene Petersen (author of "The Message"), Max Lucado, Dallas Willard, John Ortberg, Tod Hunter and others. It is an amazing experience.... learning a lot.

San Antonio is a beautiful city. I never knew this, but it is the 7th largest city in the US! And Texas is hot, as usual. We try not to be outside much. Someone forgot the ovens door open.

On Sunday evening Eugene Petersen opened the conference with an amazing talk on "The Jesus Way - what is it?". Here is only the key notes from his talk:

The Jesus way is easy - nothing could be easier. The Jesus way is hard - hard for you, hard for me.

Why is it so easy? Why is it so hard?

1. The Jesus Way is a Human Way.

- The easy part: I already know a good deal about being human - this is not alien territory. God made it easy for us by becoming human in Jesus, not asking us to be Divine.

- The hard part: When it comes down to it, I think I would rather be like God than would have God be like me. The serpent's promise to 'be like God' is still pretty attractive.

2. The Jesus Way is a conversational way.

- The easy part: Jesus speaks in a language that I am already fluent in, an everyday language of personal conversation that makes me a speech partner with the Word made flesh.

- The hard part: It is a lot easier to use language impersonally and functionally. Personal engagement requires something beyond information and explanation. Revelation puts demands on us.

3. The Jesus Way is an ordinary way.

- The easy part: This is an ordinary, well worn path that millions have walked. I don't have to be a super athlete, a mountain climber. I can do this.

- The hard part: "Ordinary" is boring. I'd like something that gives me an edge on the common humdrum of life. A little excitement, the spice of entertainment.

Arachnophobia

2009-06-16T11:02:00.003+02:00

Arachnophobia (from the Greek: ἀράχνη, arachne, "spider" and φόβος, phobos, "fear") is a specefic phobia, an abnormal fear of spiders and other arachnids. It is among the most common of all phobias.

No. I do not have arachnophobia. Not at the least. I am not afraid of teeny-weeny little creatures that you can squash with your pinky. (Snakes... now, there is something to be afraid of!!)

But I must admit that I did underestimate the power (or rather the venom) of certain spiders. Untill last week, when I was bitten by one. One of the more venomous spiders around: the Violin Spider.

Believe me... this little bugger has punch.

It started with a small little red mark on my finger. That was Wednesday morning. By the evening it was swollen and had a little yellowish-black centre.

The next day it was becoming very painful. It started to swell and the redness spreaded to my hand. My fingers also became stiff. My wife did advise me to visit the doctor, advice that I, of course, brushed aside as I am not a sissy...

But by Thursday evening it was so sore that I decided to at least get some kind of ointment from the pharmacy. The pharmacists gave it one look, and refused to give me anything. "That needs urgent medical attention from a doctor", he informed me.

I still needed to be convinced, so I SMS'ed my sister-in-law, who is a MD in Cape Town. I asked if she could fax me a prescription and described the bite. Her message came back short and sweet. "Get to a doctor. Now." And a bit later another SMS: "I am serious - get to a doctor tonight still."

So, it's of the the only available doctor at that time of day - at our local hospital's emergency room.

After filling in what felt like 125 forms, and waiting for an hour, I got to see a doctor. She gave it one look, shook her head slowly and told me that I will have to get intravenous anti-biotic, pills and ointment - and then still run the risk of at least needing a skin transplant. "This looks like a Violin Spider (Brown Recluse) bite. The same venom type as a puff-adder. Not good" was her diagnosis.

My daughter did a Google search on the effects of a Violin Spider (Brown Recluse) bite. Click here to see the damage it can cause!

So, nearly R3000 poorer (after hour ER fees!!!!), and three hours after walking in, I left the ER. And I cursed the little creature that did all this to me!

I do not have any deep lesson or metaphor or analogy from this story. Just advice: don't get bitten by a spider. And if you do - get medical help sooner rather than later.

Being flexible

2009-06-14T19:27:00.006+02:00

I've been thinking a lot lately on the challenge in life of always having to be flexible. I cannot see how you could take on any ventures, innovations or plans if the flexibility aspect is not part of your make-up.

Sometimes flexibility is an absolute expectation. That is in some way easier to handle, when you expect change.

I think that the real challenge in life that requires flexibility, is when you have your plans all set up, and you are very sure of your time lines, strategies and plans. When sudden change then pops up unexpectedly, lots of people are thrown of balance. They hit the 'panic stations' button and start running in circles. Some of us might immediately start looking for other options - believing that a change in strategy and plans means the end of the road.

I once read a sign, showing a road with a U-shaped bend in it. Underneath it read: "A bend in the road does not mean the end of the road... unless you fail to make the turn."

When a recent venture turned up some unforeseen flexibility challenges, a friend sent me the well know saying: "Blessed are the flexible, for they shall not be broken."

I think different people have different abilities in terms of adaptability. Not all of us are the same. Not all of us have the same skills and personality traits in terms of handling change. We are not all flexible.

I've read some books where flexibility are tied directly to the term "emotional intelligence". Others believe it is an important leadership quality. This might all be true.

But when flexibility becomes a downright necessity in order to live and survive in our times, everybody needs to acquire the skill to handle sudden change. Becoming emotional, angry or upset very seldom makes any difference apart from draining your energy.

Being flexible is a life skill we cannot do without.

I'm sure you've seen this one...

2009-05-29T15:18:00.003+02:00

I must be honest... I've been that little guy more than once.....

Sometimes I need to remind myself...

2009-05-27T17:36:00.005+02:00

... of who God made me, in order NOT to feel guilty.

Here is what I mean:

I sometimes wonder why I love certain stuff so much, while others don't. For instance: books, blogs, podcasts, seminars and conferences.

Oh yea, I need to keep balance, you don't need to tell me that! I push myself to 'implement' stuff I learn in my life, before moving to the next learning opportunity. But I must confess, I do not succeed so often.

Lately I felt guilty about this. A lot. I felt as if life consisted just out of words. Spoken words and written words. I felt myself trapped in words. Word overflow, you might call it.

I spoke to some friends about my frustrations. Some gave great advice that helped. Others just listened and frowned. Others gave advice that I cannot (won't) remember.... for my own benefit I hope.

Here is what I had to embrace all over again: God made me in a certain way. He made me a learner, strongest. [My top 5 Talent Themes according to the Clifton StrengthsFinder are Ideation, Input, Intellection, Learner and Maximizer. The first time a coach saw this, he replied "Yep, you live inside your head...." That was close to spot-on.]

Thing is, being such a keen learner obviously has it's own challenges. Putting stuff into practice, for one, does not come all that easy for me. Lucky for me I have people in my life who fills that gap pretty solidly.... but I still have the responsibility to embody more than mere "potential" for change.

I love my talents. I love moulding it into strengths. I even love the unbalancedness of it! But often, like lately again, I need to remind myself that it is okay to do what I do best... as long as I keep on using it for much more than myself.

[I thank God that I also have 'maximizer'!]

Being Fanatical

2009-05-21T17:02:00.005+02:00

I was stunned today when I visited our local grocery store. At the meat section, I first thought that I was losing my eyesight. Then I thought I need to call the health inspectors. Then I realised that it is not either of those things - it is simply part of living in Pretoria this week - the so called "Bull City".

Yep, the steaks and wors are blue. Seriously. And people actually eat it like that!!!

See, the Blue Bulls Super 14 Rugby Team are playing the semi finals of this tough international competition on Saturday here in our city. And believe me, if blue is not your colour, you won't feel at home here this week.... like me. [I am a Stormers / Western Province supporter. They are nearly at the bottom of the log, and Cape Town is very far from here.]

Being fanatical is kinda strange. I had some real fanatical stages in my life. At school and just thereafter I was really fanatical about my school. At the same time I was a WP fanatic... that also faded, although I am still a loyal supporter. I was fanatical about certain views I had - I still am today. Some of that changed so radically that it scares me!!

I am fanatically anti-religion.
I am fanatically anti-institution.
I am fanatically pro relationships [although I mostly suck at getting it right].

Here's what I think: being a fanatic is so overwhelming that you cannot always think or see straight. It goes with a lot of emotion. It goes with bias. It goes with certain experiences - good or bad.

I find that when I ease out of a fanatical stage, life gets easier. You tend to be wiser, more objective and balanced about stuff.

So, my anti-fanatical feelings are still full of emotion that needs to be processed. I know that. So is my pro-fanatical feelings. That does not make it bad, nor good. It does not make it wrong, nor right.

It makes it being alive.

So, for those people who will be braaing blue steaks and wors this weekend: enjoy!!

[and only for now I will surrender and say: "Go Bulls!!!"]

I agree with Len Sweet when he says....

2009-05-19T16:45:00.001+02:00

"... if it was not for Jesus, I'd be an atheist."

How many Emerging Church Bloggers does it take to change a lightbulb?

2009-05-16T15:43:00.003+02:00

1 To change the bulb and post about it
315 To lurk around and make no comment
2 To propose that a flashing coloured bulb would be more in keeping with the culture of the day
16 To complain he should have have put it in a different category
4 To flag up a conference on nu-media emerging bulb ministries “The LED Shines in the 80% Greyscale-ness” in Ukraine.
19 To point out that if the poster had bought an iBulb then he wouldn’t be in this mess in the first place.
4 To point out that it’s ‘Lightbulb’, not ‘Light Bulb’
7 To have go at those 4 for being so pathetic.
2 To come back and say they’ve had to pull out of the Ukraine conference, and the other 2 to post some blurred photos of a bunch of guys drinking beer in a dark room, Apple logos just visible in the shadows. Plus an inaudible podcast of the session they did.
5 To complain that the poster’s definition of ‘broken’ was just liberal nonsense in the first place, and if they had only stuck to the One True Light, which is perfectly clearly explained in the Gospels then all talk of change would be irrelevant.
34 To retort that all talk of ‘light’ and ‘dark’ is just relative, and purely down to the culture, context and personal experience.
15 Fundies to rock in suggesting that the bulb was never broken, but rather the power had been switched off as punishment for their straying from the one true source.
2 Aging alt.worshippers to suggest they used tea-lights instead.
6 Members of the prayer book society who suggest that any talk of alternative bulbs is the work of the devil.
18 To weigh in with quotes from Derrida, Baumann and McLuhan and discuss the essential duality of light.
1 To raise the point that Jesus didn’t need ‘artificial light’ and then go on to refute all physics suggesting light displays dualistic properties.
3 To complain of the lack of ethnic women changing light bulbs these days.
5 To raise the issue of ‘wireless bulbs’ that need no power source and can be used in Scooter Cafe.
2 To reflect on this as a model for mission, taking our wireless bulbs out into the dark world.
4 To continue this theme, but argue that the bulbs aren’t really wireless, but part of a complex, distributed network of light sources of many different sorts, which interact in loose communal ways and that’s what we call church now.
18 To claim that the original bulb was divinely inspired during the manufacture process in the 80’s and gives the only divinely inspired modern light source. Any new bulb is a travesty and anyone using the new bulb is jeopardising their salvation. It is irrelevant that people have been using the new bulb as part of their ongoing faith journey.
1 To write a huge long, rambling diatribe about the issue of light, how they suffered light deprivation as a child and are now trying to work this out in a small group in Andover, and completely kill the discussion, just leaving…
15 Online pharmacies, porn sites and penny-share stock companies to leave Trackbacks.

"Outre"

2009-05-13T20:14:00.006+02:00

They are unusual. Followers of Jesus should by definition, by design and by character be outre.

[Outre is a term derived from French, meaning "conspicuously or grossly unconventional or unusual".]

Problem is, the moment that following Jesus became a culture, it became conventional. The moment that it became fashionable, it became predictable.

Maybe one of the worst things that could have happened is when a "(Christ)-likeness" became a "(Christ)-ianity". The reality of being a disciple of Christ was traded for the institutional identity of being a member of a religion.

The only way to be authentically unusual, is to be authentically yourself. But the unique self is one of the first things that is being consumed by religion - whereas it is morphed by incarnation - without changing its uniqueness. The incarnational power of Christ accentuates your uniqueness as creation of God - it does not make you toe the line, sing to tune, speak on cue or arrive on time. It allows for outre.

The only thing about a follower of Jesus that is predictable, is their love. And even that love is different. Outre love. Conspicuously or grossly unconventional or unusual love. Just like the love God has for every single person - just as outre as they might be.

And this will always blow my mind - our outre God.

Strong in the faith

2009-05-11T16:07:00.003+02:00

A terrible tragedy occurred a couple of days ago in our city. A mom drove her four young girls to school. On a blind hill another car made an illegal U-turn, and she collided with it at full speed. Two of the four girls died on the scene. Both people in the other car was killed on impact. Another one of the little girls died later that day in hospital, and the day after the fourth girl also passed away...

The mom survived.

In an instant those parents lost all their children. I can't even imagine the pain and anguish that they must feel. Not to mention the empty beds, and years of memories of little voices and laughter that will stay with them -- forever.

As I read the paper this morning, family reported that the mom is "doing fine, as she is very strong in faith." I immediately had two conflicting emotions on this statement.

The first was: Wow, incredible. Only God can comfort in such circumstances.

The second immediate thought was: What? 'Doing fine'? Why can't we be honest and simply say that she is shattered beyond belief?

Please, hear me on this. I'm not downplaying her faith. I'm actually hurting on her behalf. And, I just can't understand why faith must by implication always mean "doing fine". As I experience it, faith is something that allows you to be broken, hurt, shattered, and even full of questions. Faith doesn't ignore or override real feelings that God gave us in the first place.

I'm sure Jesus had all the faith in the world, and still he wept over his friend Lazarus.

I'm all for "being strong in faith", as long as it implies staying human and living through the real emotions of loss, hurt and doubt. One can pray with tears.

(PS. We also lost a little girl some years ago. I still hurt... and I still have faith.)

Being corrigible

2009-05-08T16:57:00.005+02:00

Being corrigible is probably one of the most valuable character traits a person could have. Unfortunately not all people value corrigibility very high. Some are not corrigible at all...

To be corrigible means to 'be capable of being corrected'. You can also say it's to be teachable, but it refers more directly to not taking offence when corrected, but learning from advice or correction.

The word comes from the Latin corrigere (to correct). Ultimately it stems from the Indo-European reg- (to move in a straight line, to lead or rule) that is also the source of regent, regime, direct, rectangle, erect, rectum, alert, source, and surge. Even in Afrikaans, the word 'reg' (to be right) comes from the same root.

Being corrigible is a sign of emotional maturity and intelligence... and not being corrigible implies the opposite.

Obviously this does not mean that you should have no point of view, or be uncertain about things you believe, in order to be more colligible. It refers not to the wisdom of discernment, but to the character trait and attitude of not having to be right [or not believing that you are always right], and being willing to learn and change your point of view.

A friend of mine has a remarkable outlook on the life, that helps him to keep growing. He says that he constantly tests himself to be able and willing to say the following with honesty:

"I was wrong."

"I learned something new."

"I changed my mind."

All of this cannot even start if you do not set off by doing one simple thing: listening. Actually, I think one should start off every day by saying:

"I could be wrong."

"I could learn something more."

"I could change my mind."

In a spiritual sense the quality of corrigibility is the other side of the coin when it comes to being humble, and facing your own sin.

I came a long way with being corrigible. [I think one struggles the most with this skill when you are young... the older you get, the more you realize that you could be wrong - and your teenage kids remind you of it daily.] But I find that I have certain aspects of things that I believe in that I need to be more corrigible at.

I have a new prayer line: "Lord, help me to be corrigible - which means: correct me more through your Spirit, your Word and through other people. I could be wrong."

'To Be' List

2009-05-07T18:21:00.003+02:00

Today I talent-coached a person with the StrengthsFinder Talent Theme of "Achiever" in his Top 5. Usually when I encounter an achiever; I immediately ask: "Show me your 'To-Do List'" I am spot-on 99% of the time. Because achievers are goal setters by nature, they go through every day by approaching any of their activities, challenges and projects as goals. They do not necessarily tick of the list because they are afraid to forget something. They tick of the list because it gives them the satisfaction of a goal completed.

I am not a 'To-Do List' person, at all. I take every day as it comes and as it unfolds. I like ideas more than goals. I don't need to achieve, but I need to be creative.

This whole 'achieving / goal setting / list-ticking' thing made me think: have you ever heard about a "To-Be List", instead of a "To-Do List"? I kinda think it could be quite a challenge... a "To-Be List". And should you have one, what would yours be for the day? Hhmm.
I'll give it a shot:

To Be:

Kind and friendly towards every person I encounter.
Content with things I cannot change.
Truthful about everything I say and express.
A better listener and communicator - especially when it's not work-related.
Non-judgemental, especially towards Christians-by-nature and IC'ers.

Gee, I only got to 5, and I am already breaking out in cold sweat! Maybe I should choose some things that will not acquire much change or effort from my side...

What would your To-Be List look like?

Flight Departed

2009-05-03T14:50:00.006+02:00

We are sitting at Cape Town airport. We should not be sitting here. We should be home.

I misread our flight itinerary. I took the arrival time for the departure time, and we missed our flight. So here we are, at the end of a long weekend, with flights to Johannesburg already overbooked, hoping for some 'stand by' seats. Should we not get seats today by some lucky shot, the first available seats are on a 11am flight tomorrow morning.

[Thing is, we'll gladly stay longer in the Cape.... but not at the airport. Then we'll rather be home. And also: the kids are waiting anxiously for our return.]

Now: this is the very first time that something like this happened to me. [I did miss a flight before, but that was when I had a flat tyre on my way to the airport, so it was out of my control.] This time, it was because of my control that I missed the flight - my control was inaccurate. And I so believed in the way I interpreted the flight time on the electronic ticket, that I never even bothered to double check. My dear wife is very gracious to me about everything. She just made the comment that she is very glad that she did not make the mistake, because she would not have heard the end of it then.

Ashamedly, I must admit that she is right about that.

True to my nature, I must take some intellectual / philosophical / theological value out of the experience... otherwise it is only wasted time. So, I've been thinking: how many times do we miss opportunities to get somewhere in life because we misread a situation, a relation or an opportunity? What part of my life is maybe settled upon a foundation that I am very sure off, but I got it all wrong?
Some of these mistakes could be simply described by an "oops" - but others might cost you dearly. Maybe your life. Maybe it could even cost an eternity.

{One of my favourite comedians - Rowan Atkinson (Mr Bean), has a one man stand up comedy act that he does, pretending to be the devil, welcoming new arrivals in hell. He matter of factly calls out the different groups: "Atheists!? To my left please. Lawyers!? In the large area to the right... Christians?! Oh, yeah, uhm, sorry to tell you only now, but: the Jews were right..."}

Thing is, what if a simple misreading or misinterpretation costs you so dearly, and there is no way to make it up later? It could be a choice of a partner, a career choice, the choice of a god or a certain spirituality, or simply a choice of what you eat, and what you say no to....

I, for one, will make double sure when I read my itinerary in future...

Beautiful Cape

2009-05-01T18:42:00.007+02:00

Me and Rethea are spending the weekend on La Motte wine estate in Franschhoek. With us are great friends. Outside the rain is falling softly... my favourite weather in this part of the world.

We went for a lovely drive today around Cape Point, had prawns and calamari for lunch at Hout Bay, and then drove via Camps Bay and the V&A Waterfront (where we had coffee), back to the winelands.

This is my favourite part of the world. Maybe because I was born here. Maybe because my ancestors came from France and settled in this valley. Maybe simply because it is so incredibly beautiful - it's paradise.

[I still cannot believe that we are actually moving here at the end of the year....]

Amazing Grace

2009-04-26T10:38:00.002+02:00

The Essence of the Difference

2009-04-25T17:33:00.005+02:00

"Follow my teachings."

- every religious or spiritual leader who ever lived.

"Follow me..."

- Jesus.

Ouch...

2009-04-24T15:42:00.001+02:00

If you do not vote....

2009-04-22T19:09:00.006+02:00

Today South Africans elects their new president. 23 Million voters are registered. Fantastic!

But I am not one of them....

I realized that not voting if you are eligible in these times, are like not being male or Christian at a Might Men Conference..... people simply think you do not really belong.

One common theme that I often heard and read, was this one: "If you do not vote, you cannot complain." As if 'not voting' always equate to complaining...!

Well, I have a couple of "What if's" to statements regarding my status as a 'non voter':

What if I am not interested in complaining - whatever happens at the polls? What if I think that people in my position who complains in these times [under any government] have some kind of character flaw?
What if I am simply not interested in politics? And why should I be?
What if I [seriously] do not care which one of the parties who stand any chance of winning {uhm, well, actually that is a poor example, as only one party stands any chance of winning} comes into power?
What if I do not fear Zuma, the ANC or 'black power'?
What if I do not agree with any of the options I have on that ballot paper?
What if I believe that the right NOT to vote is just as important than having the right to vote?
What if I do not like to stand in queues ?
What if I hate [any] institutionalism, {like I do}, be it religious, political, social, educational or financial?
What if I do not really think democracy is the ultimate governing system? [No, I am not a communist or a socialist either....]
What if I believe that I will only vote if it [really] makes a difference - like in the Yes/No Referendum 20 years ago, or in the first democratic election of 1994? {Yes, those were the only 2 times I ever voted}. And don't give me all that "strong opposition" nonsense. Pleeaazze...
What if I simply do not want to vote.... without any good explanation?

Bottom line: the best man does not win by default. The one with the most votes does..... live with it.

I do, and I will, as morning breaks tomorrow and the future arrives - again.

Nkosi Sikilel i'Afrika!

Public opinion

2009-04-19T18:53:00.009+02:00

Me and Rethea went for a Sunday morning coffee at our local mall today. At the coffee shop we were suddenly aware of a buzz among the people. Heads turned, people pointed, and some even stood up or turned round in their tracks to have a look at.... a sport celebrity. It was a well know Springbok rugby player who lives in our neighbourhood. He seemed to just want the same thing as everyone else - a relaxing stroll and a coffee at the mall with his family. If people would allow him that "luxury"...

I was amazed at how people reacted. And what struck me most, is that this guy was only a guy playing rugby (nothing personal, but I am sure he would agree). Playing it well, oh yes for sure. But the way in which people reacted to this normal looking family at the coffee shop was kind of.... weird.

Later on Sunday evening I watched South African Idols. I love the show, just for the seer entertainment value of it. And there are [at least during this late stage of the competition - the top 4] incredible talent, and awesome voices.
They had some interviews with the four contestants, and something that each one of them mentioned is how people now treat them as celebrities. How people cue to get their autographs, or to be photographed next to them. They even get marriage proposals...
And, as one of the contestants said: "Two months ago we were nobodies! But now people know me. People everywhere wants to shake my hand."

Well, well... Celebrities are part of any society and culture, just like villains. Some celebrities and hero's become villains the moment they make a single wrong move. But it all just rests on one thing: public opinion. Public opinion is one of the most powerful realities throughout human history. The worst human atrocities came about due to public opinion. And some of the most evil systems was ended due to public opinion. As public opinion shifts and forms, so does governments, power and fame. In 1994 this movie shockingly showed hoe murdering criminals even becomes celebrities - because of media hype and public opinion being swayed by it.

But regarding celebs and being famous, here's the big, big flaw: people do NOT know you. You are still a complete stranger - they just know your face, your name and maybe a few details about your life. But they do not know you. You are only a 'nobody-with-a-name'. And probably a voice, a talent, or skill.... or, even worse, non of those, but only something... like money. Just think how Susan Boyle was elevated to celebrity status on Britain's Got Talent....

Obviously celebs will always be part of society. But....

I am growing more and more sceptical of public opinion. Especially when it is formed by the media. I think we are suckers to sing in tune without even knowing the words to the song.

We send our kids to certain schools - because most parents do.
We go to [institutional] churches - because most Christians do.
We accept poor service or bad governance - because most people accept it.
We crucify leaders - because most people shout "crucify him!"

In a couple of days our country is going to the polls for out National Election. And only one thing will count in the end: public opinion.

Seems like that is just the way it is.....

Shipwrecks

2009-04-17T15:02:00.008+02:00

The other night I watched a doccie on History Channel about this guy who won a competition, and his prize was to go down with a submarine to explore the wreck of the Titanic. Incredible.

They also then had a program on the history of Titanic's sister-ship, the Brittanic, who was sunk during World War 1 when it was used as a hospital ship.

Those are HUGE ships. "Ginormous".

But I've been thinking lately about the most difficult ships to built. We try, and try again. And it so often seems to go down with other wrecks.... many also on it's maiden voyage, just like the "unsinkable" Titanic. I am referring to our life of different relationships.

I have many wrecks in my relational ocean.... Some I revisited later. Dove down to them. Some I tried to salvage and get afloat. I've been successful, even, but mostly not as I hoped. Others are so deep, and so wrecked, that they should rather stay on the bottom as part of my own History Channel.

But relationships takes a lot of work. Not only to build, but to maintain. Relationships needs a 'dry-dock' from time to time. [Some of these ships are rather high-maintenance!] Relationships should often just be 'out of the water' for repairs and repainting of sorts.

Some ships are built to weather storms. Others should flee for the harbour when a storm comes. Some are made for fun. Others are made for work.

Here is what I also discovered. Not all relationships are ships. Here's what I mean: there are a lot of relations in our lives, that is simply not relationships. I am related to lots of people in many different ways. To some I am related in blood. To others is faith. To others in culture, and to others in friendship (there's another ship to explore!!). But having a relation does NOT mean you have a relationship. Relationships does not happen by itself or by chance, like relations often does. It is a lot more than simply having something in common.

To build a ship takes work.

To maintain it takes intentionality, planning and effort.

But we need ships in our stormy lives. All kinds.

And no ship is unsinkable.....

Joe Myers meant a heck of a lot to me in understanding relationships better - by simply defining it better. His book "Search to Belong" is a must in this regard. Since I read it, my ship-building has improved immensely.

I wanted to wake up...

2009-04-15T16:47:00.006+02:00

I wanted to wake up when I saw the flames
burning, roaring, engulfing
and I realised that the burning 'thing'
was the man I looked up to, always.
When we jumped on you, rolled on the grass
and your skin came off on mine...
and I smelled your flesh.

But I was not dreaming.
I was awake. And it was real.

I wanted to wake up when I heard your pain
in your breath
while I ignored cars, people and lights
while I raced for the ER,
when a car crashed into us, and I just sped off
and your face was stiff and burnt.

But I was not dreaming.
I was awake. And it was real.

I wanted to wake up when you lay there
in the ER, with doctors around you
and I saw your face... but it was not you.
And I heard your voice,
as you simply whispered
"God is good, God is good."

But I was not dreaming.
I was awake. And it was real.

I wanted to wake up when you asked
with voice faint and sirens wailing
"Where are you, son?"
And I took your hand, always strong
- but then weak - in mine, and replied
"Here I am, dad."

But I was not dreaming.
I was awake. And it was real.

I wanted to wake up when days went slowly
and you could not talk
and people came, and people went.
They prayed, they said,
but helplessness stayed.
And machines breathed for you.

But I was not dreaming.
I was awake. And it was real.

I wanted to wake up when the call came early
and I felt my knees buckling.
And we all gathered by your bed,
held your hand, I touched your feet.
I said goodbye. And April 15th got new meaning,
forever after.

But I was not dreaming.
I was awake. And it was real.

I wanted to wake up when we carried you
in a box. Stood at the open grave.
And I placed your Bible on the box
with a note. "I love you, dad."
And people sang (but you did not lead them),
looked sad (but you did not encourage them).

But I was not dreaming.
I was awake. And it was real.

I wanted to wake up when the five of us took spades
and I heard the soil hit wood.
When we turned away and left,
and I had no father,
no pastor, no mentor, no strength...

But I was not dreaming.
I was awake. And it was real.

And then, last week I saw them playing.

11 kids. Your heritage.

And I heard the laughter. And I felt the love.

And I saw the pleasure, joy and life.

And I wanted to stay awake forever....

Its fifteen years later, Dad.

And I am not dreaming.

I am awake.

This is real.

And we are happy....

[Miss you.]

Gotta love this cartoon

2009-04-14T16:46:00.001+02:00

He's in my blood

2009-04-14T15:33:00.004+02:00

I'm reading the book "Wholly Jesus" by Mark Foreman. [I just love the title!!] The book is about being 'whole', and what it means. Also about how Christianity missed the meaning of wholeness as Jesus meant it, and also how the true meaning of salvation was minimized to meaning a specific thing that is a lot less than what the true salvation in Jesus means.

This made me think about how we teach our children, just the way we were taught, that "Jesus lives in your heart". Cute image. True also. But I don't think this image helps us a lot to understand what is meant with 'wholeness'.... and it is crucial that Jesus should be understood as a 'whole relationship'.

Interestingly ancient cultures had a very strong relation with blood, when it comes to both life and death. We know that the Bible is filled with 'blood covenants', and that blood played a very important role in the salvation act of Jesus on the cross. The term 'blood of the lamb' is frequently used by Christians.

Should we not perhaps rather say that you have "Jesus in your blood"? I am thinking on the impact on my 4 year old, when she asks me, and I tell her that Jesus in in her blood, rather that in her heart....

Blood is flowing. Blood is life giving. Blood is part of your whole body.

As an image, I think this would be a lot better to explain the concept of being 'filled' with Christ. And even the image of "give your heart to Jesus" being changed to "give your blood to Jesus".

Too 'gory'? Or does it make a difference in the way we think [and limit] Jesus?

What do you think?

He has risen... the tomb is empty!

2009-04-12T19:37:00.004+02:00

Had a special intimate Easter Sunday today. We started off with communion with friends from our home church, and my parents-in-law was also here.

[What was also somewhat special is that we used wine that we brought back from Israel last year October when we visited there.]

I read the happenings from Luke 24 and explained to the kids again what words like "Passover" and "Lamb of God" means to us. Also where communion comes from.

We then sung our traditional 'home church song': "Oh, how I love Jesus, because he first loved me..." [That's also our only song.... and the words explains the bottom line of why we get together as a church].

Then we went to a nearby tea garden where the kids had a lot of fun playing, riding ponies and running around.

I must say, I absolutely love the small, intimate and relational approach, after all the years in the IC, working around a pre-programmed event and getting the 'sequences' in order.

And when I visited my Facebook and Twitter sites this evening, I was again just intrigued by how nearly all my pastor friends remarks on the success of their Easter Sunday in terms off filled seats and electric atmosphere....

Oh well, all that I can say is that the body of Christ was broken for us, so that we can relate to Him exactly from where we are on our journey.... and also just as we are. Without the knowledge of that grace I would have had no hope for myself and my own limited understanding of God....

Prayer over Easter

2009-04-11T09:20:00.002+02:00

The arms of God be around my shoulders,
the touch of the Holy Spirit upon my head,
the sign of Christ’s cross upon my forehead,
the sound of the Holy Spirit in my ears,
the fragrance of the Holy Spirit in my nostrils,
the vision of heaven’s company in my eyes,
the conversation of heaven’s company on my lips,
the work of God’s Church in my hands,
the service of God and the neighbour in my feet,
a home for God in my heart,
and to God, the Father of all, my entire being.
Amen.

Celtic "Breastplate Prayer" Fursa of Ireland, 7th century

(got this from Len Sweet on Twitter)

Our dreams aren't nightmares

2009-04-09T12:05:00.009+02:00

Last week I published a post on my experience of a day with Jacob Zuma. I had very interesting feedback - from as far as the US!

Interesting how emotional people get when it comes to politics..... Some of my friends could not believe that I am so gullible. That might well be. I realized that making up your mind on a leader or a government merely on what you read in (only one or two) newspapers and on dubious 'wisdom' over dinner, is a lot more naive than you might think. And that is exactly what I always did.

I promised in that post that I will reflect on the presentation that Stephan Joubert gave on behalf of ekerk & echurch. Here goes.

First of all let me tell you what stood out like a sore thumb at the gathering: the age of the people there. As I mentioned before, I was one a the few 'young ones', and I am pushing forty! The average age was probably around 60. And I was immediately concerned with this. Me and Stephan discussed it, and agreed that it is just a confirmation that the younger generations are not concerned with formal institutions and organizations, especially in politics. Just like they are living past denominations in faith, they look past party politics. They prefer informal associations, more like 'tribal connections'. [Just consider how Obama reached this generation via the Internet.]

The other thing that we picked up on immediately, was how the 'Afrikaners' took pride in their own 'hard-headedness' throughout history. One after the other speaker proclaimed that he considers himself and his organization as more 'hardegat' (Afrikaans term for 'hard-ass') than the next one.

So, it did not take long for Stephan and me to decide that he should address a couple of misconceptions represented there.

After introducing himself and ekerk/echurch (who we represented on the day), Stephan declared that we would like to represent a generation that is not represented at the gathering: the 'under-40's'. [I barely qualified, and he missed it by about a decade, but we felt it necessary.] First, Stephan pointed out that the under 40's would not even attend even when they are invited, just because they have a negative mindset about institutionalism, modernistic authoritarian hierarchy's and within it all, politics. So the organizers should not feel bad, but those who are there should realize that they are speaking for a bygone era. The new generation does not have the same fears and needs than the older people. Not that the older generations should be sidelined and ignored - not in the least, but getting together as a bunch of 'old people' to decide the future of South Africa is at the least arrogant, and at the most stupid.

The second point that Stephan made, had everyone silenced. He declared that we are representing a "nie-hardegat-generasie" (non-hardheaded-generation) who has a dream for the future, and the dream is not a nightmare. They are people who have a healthy outlook on life through a balanced individualism - stating that they do not want to be tagged and defined, but that they are simply individuals with a lot to offer and a life to live to the full.

Stephan then stated that at ekerk & echurch we represent those people who are not concerned with traditional "Christian norms and values", because it became a cliche long ago. We are simply followers of Jesus who do not follow Him because He is 'hardegat' but because he came as a servant to all. So, we want to serve people, irrespective of religion, faith, race or culture. We do not desire freedom to build bigger houses and taller fences, but we desire freedom to serve others without prejudice and restriction.

We desire more of life, not more of things. We do not see poor people as people who merely need to be 'reached and uplifted', but as people who need to be respected and loved. And we do not see the rich and famous as people with status and power, but as people with problems - more than the rest of us.

Stephan got a muffled applause (even from the churches and denominations represented, obviously) and there were a lot of folded arms and deep frowns in the room.... I gave him a good pat on the back!

But be that as it may, I am more optimistic because of where we are going than because of where we come from. That's a no-brainer.

As I said in my previous post on Zuma, I still have no interest in politics. And I am well aware that Zuma is a politician first and foremost (just like a pastor is a clergy first and foremost). But I choose not to see doom and gloom with the upcoming elections.

I firmly believe South Africa is one of the best places for my children to grow up in.

The smell of creation...

2009-04-06T16:58:00.006+02:00

I am sure that the first smell of creation, right after God finished on day 6, smelled liked the African earth when it rains....
This is a smell you cannot describe. There is nothing that smells like it, so analogies won't help. It smells like the African earth when it rains. Period.

In Africa, creatures do not hide when it rains. They come out to smell the earth, to feel the wetness of life on their skin, to see how the trees and the grass rejoices in worship of the moisture from the skies.

In many countries they say that when the sun breaks through the clouds, it is a sign of hope for a new day. In Africa, that hope is symbolized by rain. Africa appreciates every single drop that wets her skin. No African being will ever curse the rain. We praise it. We rejoice when the sound of thunder rolls in from a distance. Everyone stares at the sky with hope that the darkness of the clouds is not merely an empty promise.

And when the first drops starts to fall, that smell of creation fills your nostrils, and you cannot but breath deeper.... longer... slower.....

As I write this, the thunder rolla over the hills outside. The raindrops on the roof sounds like a symphony. And I fill my lungs with the smell of creation.

African Aptitude

2009-04-05T16:02:00.005+02:00

How could you not love Africa?

Africa's fields has the sound of wide open spaces.... the open stretches of golden grass has a way of dancing in the wind, moving with rhythm.... African rhythm.

The water of it's rivers and lakes are alive with spirit. The darkness of the deep is covered with silver linings that seems as if it has the secrets of Africa's beauty in its belly.

The hills of Africa are like strong, healthy torsos that swells with life and pride.
African skies has a brightness that you cannot even imagine possible. It is as if the sun and the stars has a secret love relationship with Africa's horizon.

African sounds are sharp, the rhythm of it's drums takes control of your heart.

In Africa you cannot tolerate mediocre dreams, easy challenges, small thinking or shallow thoughts.

Africa is not for sissies. Here you cannot merely live, you survive.

How could you not love Africa?

If Africa is in your blood, your blood becomes warm with energy. If you live in Africa, you want to die here. Your soul belongs to the soil. Your spirit to it's skies.

How could you not love Africa?

Jacob Zuma

2009-04-02T21:12:00.011+02:00

I had a very interesting day today.

We were invited as 'ekerk/echurch' by die ANC to attend a day where the president of the ANC - and most likely the next president of South Africa - spent a day in discussions with Afrikaner leaders. On the table was perspectives, opinions, needs, fears and proposals by specifically (the very vast and different) groups of white Afrikaans speaking South Africans.

Now, let me make it clear: I am not even nearly politically involved or even at the least interested in politics. To be honest, I do not even vote (!). Just not interested in all the political agendas and options, and I am a firm believer that politics smells... stinks actually.

I prefer being involved on a smaller scale, more relational, more involved, and in such a way that I can experience change and development more practically and tangibly that just the 'talk about talks about' change and development.

Secondly, I do not trust politicians. Period.
Especially not Jacob Zuma.....

So when my friend and collegue, Stephan Joubert (leader of the ekerk/echurch) asked me to join him at the day, I did not precisely burst with excitement. Even though Stephan (who has met Mr Zuma before) repeatedly told me that there is a side to 'JZ' that we should take note off. That he is the real deal, and someone who may just be the right man for the right time in our country.

Now, I won't bore you with details of a whole day of discussions and presentations, of which most where utterly senseless and out of touch with the real world we live in. Just the things that scared me:

That I, who am turning 40 next year, were one of the youngest people there. How on earth could the 'Afrikaner' still be stuck in such a mentality of modernist, middle-aged men to speak on their behalf? The world has moved on, and many people do not realize it.
How can people give the whole of their life for a cause like fighting for the preservation of graveyards? Good grief. Talk about monuments vs movement....
Why must narrow minded, marginalized and radical groups even be heard? Like a small community of about a thousand radicals surviving in an exclusive white community for whites on the banks of the Orange River? Could we move along with the world, please?

And then, things that excited me:

Jacob Zuma. Yep, I am serious. Don't ask me to give you precise and detailed explanations as for why I say so... I am still not sure. But if I were the voting type, he would have my vote. I think it's because I have seen and heard another side of a man and of a leader that most South Africans haven't seen. We are completely blinded by the media when it comes to (any) politics. But if you spend a day in discussions that is open and honest and straight - and the media is not allowed - then you understand a lot better. And, even when we drove home afterwards, the first 'media-misquote' of Zuma was over the radio news....
The future of South Africa. Even though I was not impressed or excited by any of the views or presentations of any of the representatives (except of course our own, by Stephan... I will blog on what he said later), I am more excited and hopeful in the future of this beloved country of ours. Because if we have a leadership who can tolerate minorities and their petty fears in the way that JZ and the ANC does - not only tolerate but honestly listens to and responds to and act on - then you cannot but have hope.

This was my first ever political meeting. Maybe my last. But it did open my eyes to a lot of things. Gave me new perspectives. And I did get to meet our next president....

In a previous blog entry I declared that I am NOT a Christian, but a follower of Jesus. After today I have another declaration to make: I am NOT an Afrikaner, but a South African.

Maybe, as I approach 40, I am entering a (midlife) identity crisis....

Or, just maybe, I am getting the words to describe who I truly am.

Image is Everything

2009-03-31T16:20:00.005+02:00

A friend forwarded this to me:

This image reminds me of something James Twitchell writes in Shopping for God:

"Megachurches concentrate on what makes the brand powerful: growth. What you sell is the perception that whatever it is that you are selling is in demand."

Very true, but let's be honest and fair: not only true about megachurches.

True about bussiness.

True about marketing.

True about politics.

True about entertainment.

True about religion.

[Considering this, I better understand why it is especially true about megachurches....]

When kids die slowly....

2009-03-29T20:31:00.002+02:00

While I was overseas for two weeks, one of my daughter's teachers told my wife that we will never be able to divorce. "Because your children will surely die, slowly, when one of you should go away for too long."

We make an excellent parental team, me and Rethea. But I believe that what the teacher said is true of every single child on earth. Kids need their parents.... both of them. Obviously life is complicated, difficult and not always easy. Sometimes things happen that we do not necessarily choose.

But I understand why the Bible refers to divorce as 'violence'.

It can't be easy, not for anyone. I treasure every single day that we are together as a family. And I do not take a happy marriage for granted.

I see it as grace, mixed with choice.

But maybe more grace than choice....

5 reasons why home is best

2009-03-28T19:36:00.003+02:00

One: The people you love most lives there.

Two: It has your favourite coffee, snacks, shower and books.

Three: For some weird reason no bed in the world sleeps as good as your own.

Four: You don't do maths in your head every time you pay for something. What is costs is exactly what it costs.

Five: At home you can read the signs of the weather and the signs of the times with confidence.

Growth without depth

2009-03-26T20:15:00.008+02:00

I met an amazing person in London today - Pete Greig.

Pete is author of books like 'Red Moon Rising' and 'God on Mute'. He is our last stop of around 10 leaders and authors that we met with on our 2-week tour of the US and UK. And I was not dissappointed with him being last. Like good wine, it was worth waiting for.

First impressions? Authentic. Real. Honest. Just like he writes in his books - especially in 'God on Mute'.

Pete told us of something that the well known John Stott said recently when asked what he thinks the greatest challenge to the church of our time is.

His response was three words: "Growth without depth."

To me, these simple few words summed up what this last two weeks emphasized. there is a lot of growth within the church and within Christianity of our day. There is very little depth. Those pastors and leaders who are engaged within churches that grows (like Mark Batterson, Rob Bell, Mike Erre and Bill Hybels and of course Pete himself)) all in some way acknowledged the challenge for creating and sustaining spiritual, theological and transformational depth.

Those who works with leaders and churches (like Ron Martoia, Len Sweet, Reggie McNeal, George Barna and Gallup) all experience the hunger for depth - both in leadership and in transformation.

We came on this trip to try and feel the pulse of a certain arena of the church and spiritual leadership world that we associate with. We felt different pulses. Some were weak. Some were strong. Others irregular. But we always felt a pulse, and that is encouraging.

Now for the challenge - to feel our own contextual pulse within the arenas of theology, spirituality, leadership and community in South Africa. And then to react on what we feel - in a way that will serve the church and its leaders to turn the world upside down for Christ.

Tomorrow evening I head back home - to the most beautiful and best continent of all: Africa.

Dinner in Chicago

2009-03-25T18:07:00.013+02:00

Our group had the privilege to have dinner with Bill and Lynne Hybels at their home in Chicago on Monday evening. Bill and Lynne are truly remarkable people, and they way in which God has used them over the past three decades are just incredible.

For me personally it was great to have this more personal interaction with Bill Hybels, as he and the Willow Creek Community Church in Chicago has played an enormous role in my spiritual development in the past decade. I have been to Willow Creek numerous times before for conferences and training, and I must have more than a 100 CD's and DVD's with some of their messages on it. I was even involved in the South African office of the Willow Creek Association for about 5 years, serving as a volunteer and heading up their "Gift Ministry".

My personal spiritual journey did take me away from all of that in the last 3 or so years, in that I became disillusioned with especially the whole mega-church scene and some of the hype and things that typically went with it. Also with religion as such - even if it came in a modern, high-tech package. But I have always said (and still believe) that as far as mega churches goes, there is only one that I would prefer to be part off (if I have to...), and that is Willow. And I also believe that Bill Hybels is probably one of the 5 most gifted leaders in the church of our generation.

When you spend time on a more 'personal' level with Bill, you can very easilly understand why he achieved what he did. I think he would have build an empire in any other field of life also, would he have chosen to go there. He is incredibly dynamic, very self assured and has a high level of 'command' in his persona. And he is utterly and wholeheartedly sold out to leadership as a neccesity to move people towards any given goal or transformation.

Funny how life goes. Ten years ago I would have been in awe to not only meet, but to have some personal time with this man. Now I could sit back and listen to him with admiration, but also a healthy dose of realistic interpretation of just where he comes from and what his context of church and leadership is.

Maybe one of the best things that Bill did over the past 20 years, is his committed calling to invest in the church over the world. Strangely, I also now believe that this was also one of the things that did the church worldwide a lot of damage. Not because of what he said or did, but because of the way most leaders and churches worldwide took the example of what happened in South Barrington, Chicago and tried to recreate it our of context in another part of the world. You cannot clone churches. Yep, you can try, but it will always be a copy of the real thing. And the sheer size and scale in which Willow Creek does church under Bill's leadership made too many others want to be a 'little Hybels' and create a 'copy of Willow'.

And today many of them are reaping plastic fruit because of it.

Still, that does not take anything away from the incredible gift that both Bill and Lynne Hybels are to our time, and to the church worldwide.... We had a very enjoyable evening with them, and their hospitality and love was overwhelming.

aka 'Kids'

2009-03-22T00:56:00.006+02:00

It is about a 90 minute drive from Santa Monica to Ventura, California (see map). This is where we met with George Barna and David Kinnaman.

George Barna is well know, at one stage he was rated as the 'most quoted person by pastors in North America'. Some of his latest books include 'Revolution' and 'Pagan Christianity?' (with Frank Viola). David Kinnaman is currently the President of the Barna Group, and the author of a bestseller book 'UnChristian'.

Most institutional churches, especially mega churches, really does not like George Barna very much. Unfortunately they should not be mad at him, as he only does clinical research and give the facts. They don't like what the research shows..... This was especially true with the book "Pagan Christianity?'. If you are more into church as institution than you are into God, do NOT read this book.

The most interesting thing that I took out of the talk we had with George and David, was their strong feeling that we are missing a whole generation in terms of leadership and mentoring. And no, it is not the 20-somethings as everyone else thinks. They feel we should be much more intentional in reaching and mentoring the generation of kids between 8 and 15 years of age. George reckons that someone in their twenties are already far too much set in their worldview, and that it takes too much for them to 'unlearn' certain ideas.

This does not mean that they should be written off, or any generation for that matter! He is simply pointing out that we are completely ignoring the intentional mentoring of the younger people, aka 'kids', and that we are very much underestimating their potential and sense of observation in terms of matters like God, church, leadership and Jesus.

I must say, this kind off came as a curve ball to all of us. Just as George predicted, the 'kids' was not even on our radar in terms of our plans to impact the community and to develop leadership. A whole new challenge opened up.

I think the greatest challenge in this regard will be to get the right people to do the right stuff in terms of mentoring and developing the. I am not sure that I am in any way up to it.... my own 3 kids are already more than a life-long challenge to me!

Sweet sounds

2009-03-21T02:33:00.004+02:00

Here is some advice: Never try to improve or even try to explain anything that Len Sweet says. Just simply quote the man.

So, after our time with Len, that is exactly what I am gonna do:

"If you are not hearing it in stereo and surround sound, you’re not hearing God. God speaks in stereo. God speaks in surround sound. Want to be the first? Be the last. Want to live? Come and die."

"The church should not cater simply for where the people are, the church should lead to where people are not."

"Leadership should rather be called 'followership'. Leaders are followers of Jesus first and foremost."

"We should give people a lead on culture and on society."

"I don't use the terms 'modern' and 'postmodern' any more. I prefer to speak off a Google world and a Gutenberg world. 'Googlies' are those born after 1973 and 'Gutties' were born before 1973.... why '73? That is when the first cellphone call was made. Since then the world changed in the same way that it changed after Guttenburg."

"We should learn how to do little large."

"Christianity is the only faith that spreads itself as a seed, and not as a plant. Therefore it comes up different according to the soil it grows in, but the DNA are the same."

"Church buildings of the future will wrap itself around the needs of a community in such a way that you will not see a church any more, because it morphed into the identity of the community and its needs."

"There is no place where the church are asking the questions that will help them getting ahead of themselves. The only questions they are asking is in an effort to explain themselves!"

"The more Facebook, the more Face-to-Face. The more time my teenage daughter spends on Facebook, the more3 she has a craving for face-to-face interaction with others."

"Googlies are the first generation in history who does not need authority figures to access information."

"Mentors are need more than ever not to assess, but to access and to process. The beauty of Internet is that you can get everything. The danger of the Internet is that you can get everything."

"It is no longer about accountability, but about editability. A good mentor is an editor. A good editor wants to make your voice as strong as possible. Everyone needs editing.
Nathan was editing David."

"When a paradigm shifts, everything goes back to the ground zero."

"The gospel needs to be incarnated into cultures, not imposed on it."

"The more authentically local you are, the more globally resonant you will be."

"The church should become MRI, meaning Missional, Relational and Incarnational.

'Go' = missional. 'Make disciples' = relational. 'Of all nations' = incarnational.
'The Way' = missional. The Truth = relational. The Life = Incarnational."

"EPIC (Experiential, Participatory, Image Rich, Connected) are the interface.

MRI are the operating system."

"The church is the last place that still tries to communicate to this world in words."

"You cannot go with Jewish rituals because of Jesus. Jesus goes out of the promised land into the desert!"

"We are masters of our “You”niverse."

"Christians has “Verse”sitis. Why do we memorize Bible verses, and not any Bible stories?"

"You eat an apple whole….. you eat an orange by dissecting it. We made oranges of everything in the modern world, even of God."

.... and all of this was just over lunch.......

Leading with a limp

2009-03-21T01:55:00.006+02:00

We drove early on Thursday morning from Santa Monica Beach to meet with Mike Erre, pastor of Rock Harbour Church, at a small place called the Old Vine Cafe in Costa Mesa. Mike is also the author of two amazing books: Jesus of Suburbia and Death by Church. (By the way, do yourself a favour and go to Rock Harbours website and try to find Mike on it. He is there, but just go and see how a website could effectively communicate a 'flat' structure rather than enhancing the clergy/laity divide!)

I loved our time with Mike. He is a no-frills kind of guy who is very sincere regarding their tremendous challenges in the growing church that he is leading. One interesting thing about Rock Harbour is that they have been fighting the 'mega church mania' by refusing to build buildings. They are renting facilities and are having 7 services on a weekend to accommodate the more than 6000 people showing up! Sounds like a nightmare to me....

But Mike understand a lot about the challenges of church within a consumerist culture. His book Jesus of Suburbia has the striking subtitle: "Have we tamed the son of God to fit our lifestyle". I think mostly we have done exactly that!

A thing that stuck with me is Mikes view on 'leading out of weakness'. As he put it, he has difficulty trusting a leader without a limp.... Then he shared that he and his wife just had a baby in December that was diagnosed with Down Syndrome. The world aborts babies with a syndrome. And I could sense in the tone of his voice something that I know all too well. That same 'reaching-out-to-God-within-your-pain-and-confusion' that me and Rethea experienced when Germari was born 9 years ago... also with Down Syndrome.

After our breakfast I went to Mike and briefly shared with him that I understand something of their tough journey. Also that our little girl did not make it, but died after 4 months of struggle and 9 operations. And I could look him in the eye and say honestly: "Mike, there is no answers, but there is peace..... at some stage."

Maybe that is a metaphor for our challenge with trying to get a grip on the church of Jesus. Maybe the church also has a 'syndrome' of sorts. Maybe that is why it is not perfect. Maybe it will never be perfect. Even when we diagnose it as having something so severe that life is not sustainable. Maybe even when we want to abort it.

God loves His church in the same way that you love a child even if the child is not 'perfect' in the eyes of the world. Maybe that is what true love is all about. Maybe that is why God so loved the world....

We are called to love, not to strive for perfection in our own eyes and standards.

Santa Monica, California

2009-03-20T00:06:00.013+02:00

Remember when Forrest Gump started running, and just kept going? When he reached the West Coast, he ran all they way to the end of the Santa Monica Pier... then turned around and kept going. Today a famous landmark is the Bubba Gump Shrimp Company Restaurant on the pier. We are staying right next to the Santa Monica Pier for our next phase of our US tour.

Our first appointment here was with an awesome man called Reggie McNeal. Reggie is one of the driving forces behind "The Leadership Network", and wrote (amongst many others) a fascinating book called "The Present Future".

Reggie could be described as a "brilliant, uplifting spirit". He has the most amazing sense of humour, and a passion for God and the kingdom that just spills over.

The most important thing that I took out of the conversation we had with Reggie, was his explanation of the church as a place that 'extracts' people out of the community, groups them in a place where they are then being motivated, inspired and seemingly 'equipped' to go back to exactly the place where the church extracted them from.... but with a 'message' rather than simply a 'mission'.

Being missional means that you acknowledge that people are already living their lives in the world. To create a program of 'reaching, training, sending' only enforces the dualism of 'sacred/secular' that only ends up religionizing people.

To be a church that impacts the world means that we need a new kind of evangelism: we must serve out of love. We must be a blessing to the nations (as God blessed Abraham to be).

That's it.

Once again it comes back to the thing that I mentioned before: introduce people to Jesus, and get out of the way. If you really believe (and know!) Jesus, you will trust Him to be a reality to the person. You must just keep on serving and loving.

Ringing our Bell

2009-03-18T22:34:00.003+02:00

Had breakfast on Monday morning in Grand Rapids with Rob Bell... yep, the 'Nooma oke'.

I've met Rob before, and this time around confirmed it to me: incredible that this man is 100% the same guy as you see and hear on the DVD's! He does not have an "audience' personality at all... he is authentically exactly just the way he is. Even when we did our own small taped interview with him afterwards, he just carried on talking as if there was no camera around.

There is a reason that I share this. It is because it is so incredibly rare. Especially for "teachers, preachers, performers and personalities". They all seem to change shape on and off the stage....

Is authenticity not just a beautiful thing?

As expected, Rob had a lot of wisdom and fascinating insights to share with us. We were especially intrigued with his explanation of a fascinating systems theory that explains a lot about different people and different tribes and their spiritual affiliation / experience / preferences. I heard a similar teaching on this a few years ago from Erwin McManus, but Rob went a lot deeper and really helped us understand why some people will just not be ready for certain spiritual or communal experiences and ideas. Where some people are simply focusing on survival, others tend to operate fully out of reason. Then there are those who are associating with the environment and social justice in a much more deliberate way.

At the end of it all you get a phase of "Integration", where a lot of these systems are integrated and accommodated, without ignoring or criticizing any of the previous ones.... because you can understand why you had to take the important journey through that specific phase.

The breakfast with Rob was only our third stop on a visit to about 10 leading thinkers and entrepreneurs... and already our heads are spinning. What a ride!!

Off to LA next. We will be staying right on Santa Monica Beach.

Time to change gears - again.

Shalom

2009-03-18T02:33:00.002+02:00

Grand Rapids Michigan is the home town of former US President Gerald Ford. It is also the epicenter of American Reformed spirituality, and probably one of the most religious cities in the United States.

Downtown Grand Rapids is strikingly beautiful. Clean as a whistle, with the Grand River carving its way through the city.

We stayed at the Grand Amway Hotel, an enormous place that was built by the De Vos family, who built up the famous Amway empire.

Here we met with Ron Martoia on Sunday evening for dinner. I know Ron for about two years now. We first met here in the same city (then in January and a freezing -18 degrees, so I will never forget it!!). Ron likes to refer to himself as a ‘transformational architect’ and he works as a leadership consultant. He wrote three books thus far: Morph, Static and Transformational Architecture.

What I love about Ron is his passionate love for theology. He has a brain as sharp as a razor, and when Ron starts talking about the Bible, God, Jesus and the church, it feels like someone is switching on lights in your mind. Ron is very involved with online leadership training, mentoring and teaching through his own web ministry, www.velocityculture.com, and also through a shared online ministry called Shapevine, where other leaders and thinkers like Len Sweet and Alan Hirsch are also involved.

The one thing that stayed with me after our time with Ron, is his view on the importance of ‘wholeness’, or as he refers to it, ‘shalom’. He stressed that we should be very careful not to become so heavenly minded in our efforts to spread the good news of Christ that we forget what Jesus taught about the Kingdom coming here on earth, now…. today. And that we should help people seek, find and live in ‘shalom’.

[The word shalom does not refer only to ‘peace’ in the sense that it is used by many people. When the Jews referred to something as having ‘shalom’, they meant that it is fulfilling the exact function that it was created for. A pen that writes has shalom (even though you could use the pen to scratch in your ear.) The desk in your office standing on four legs that you use to put your computer on, has shalom, even though you could also put your computer on a stack of books….]

You have shalom if you love God, and love people, even though you felt so down and out today, or even though your body might be battling with cancer.

I wondered, after our talk with Ron, why the church so struggles to achieve, understand and to keep shalom? Maybe because it is doing everything well that it was NOT intended (supposed) to be doing. Maybe because the institutional church as we know it, is a lot like that stack of books with a computer on it, or that pen with which we scratch in our ear. Lots of functional use – no shalom. And in the process it is creating a mindset with Christians that the life of a Christian is about being functional (read: religious) rather than to have shalom by simply loving God and loving people.

Do we seek wholeness? Do we believe that we could be whole even though we are broken?

The challenge may be not to fix the mechanics of church…. but to help the church (re)discover its true shalom.

Theaterchurch, DC

2009-03-15T04:35:00.007+02:00

We visited our friend Mark Batterson at Theaterchurch today. Situated next to the Union Station in Downtown DC, and just a couple of blocks from Capital Hill, the Ebenezers Coffeehouse forms the core of what this community is all about.

This small but warm and intimate coffeehouse is where the National Community Church operates from. They see themselves as a coffeehouse, that incidentally also accommodates a church gathering on Saturday nights. An interesting set-up indeed. They actually function as 'one church in many locations' - the locations being Movie Theaters throughout DC.

Here’s some of the interesting rational behind the methodology of the ‘Theaterchurch’:

First: they reckon that movie theaters are ideally built and designed for the way they like to do church. Utilizing a ‘one-preacher-many-big-screens’ approach, the movie theater is a simple and practical way of making it work.
Point taken.

Second: they reckon that people feel comfortable visiting a familiar place like a movie theater, rather than a conventional church building. So people who do not attend church for any given reason might attend Theaterchurch purely because its non threatening, familiar and safe – you sit in your seat and other people leave you alone.
Point taken.

But here's my view on it: the very same thing that might work for you in terms of reaching people, might well work against you in connecting and communing with people. And to me, the latter is what church is all about.

I love Mark, and I love Ebenezers Coffeehouse. They really brew good coffee, and they are honestly striving to serve the community of Washington DC in an authentic way.
I am not sure that I like the Theaterchurch idea though.... But I don't have to like it, because it is not there for me.

Another thing I realized: 'megachurch' has nothing to do with size. Megachurch is a culture. You could be 100 people and do megachurch the way megachurches do megachurch. [If you have ever been part of a megachurch, you will know exactly what I mean....]

Maybe a last thought to leave you with - a statement Mark made. He said that there are many different kinds of churches, because there are many different kind of people. Sounds so logical. But, if you really think about it, do you agree? Because if that is true, then the only way to define church is simply giving people what people want....

Right?

The Land of the Free (thats not for free)

2009-03-14T01:33:00.006+02:00

So here we are in the Capital City. Washington DC.

We went on a walking tour today. To Georgetown with its old-town feel, down Pennsylvania Avenue to the White House, round the back towards the Lincoln Memorial. Then we went to the Korean War Memorial, and to the Vietnam War Memorial.

Walked past the Washington Monument (that needle pointing skywards) and we had lunch at the Smithsonian Museum of Natural History (remember the movie "Night at the Museum"?).

An inscription at one of the War Memorials got my attention:

"Freedom is not free".

So true and so sad all at the same time. This is the "land of the free", and it came at a cost. It still does. To some extent, the whole world is paying for this mighty country's freedom.... with oil, air and other natural resources. In return the world gets McDonald's, Hollywood and Obama. What a bargain.

I love the States - I really do. I love efficiency. I love productivity. I honestly also love comfort. But it is always a vivid reminder to me that a first world consumerist society costs more than the world can afford to pay.... and still everybody [mostly] wants it.

Freedom is not free.

Sky-high

2009-03-13T15:30:00.000+02:00

The small screen in front of me reads:

Altitude: 12359 m
Temperature -45C
Ground Speed 780km/h
Time to destination 1h 52m

It’s 10am Friday morning in South Africa. It’s ‘whatever’ time up here. I’ve been confined to the belly of this aircraft for more than 16 hours. Nearly there…. Only 2 hours to go. Will have an airline breakfast soon. (Yee-haah…) I call this direct trans-Atlantic flights from Johannesburg to Washington or New York a ‘Nine-Movie-Flight’…. Because should you be crazy enough to try, you could watch 9 back-to-back in-flight movies. I did one.

We are a group of 8 traveling to the US on a learning/fact-finding/research/networking experience. First stop in less than 2 hours: Washington DC. First thing on the agenda: Starbucks Venti Cappucino (wet). Then it’s off to get the rental car and go kill some time. We’ve gained time – around 6 hours – so we’ve got plenty to kill. We’ll be touching down at about 6am, so there’s no way to check in at the hotel yet. Maybe we’ll just drive past the White House, wave to Obama, (he might invite us in), check out the Lincoln Memorial with the Capital Hill on the other side. Maybe do a museum. Stay indoors. It’s freezing in DC.

And of course, stop at every Starbucks we see. (That’s an expensive tradition.)
I’ll keep you updated on our trip over the next 2 weeks, who we meet, what we learn and all the rest…

Must we trust?

2009-03-11T08:37:00.006+02:00

Not all values are good.

Not all good people or good places has good values.

I realized that some people and places has a value of distrust. They choose not to trust people, because they believe that you cannot. They base this value on the incidents when trust was broken. When people did not deliver. When they did not perform to expectations.

They choose not to use the incidents of performance, reliability and delivery as grounds for a value.

Trusting is risky. It is risky because it is based on non-control and letting go. You cannot trust and control at the same time.

Trust is relational. Relations are risky. Trust builds on the foundations of relations, and relations are built on the foundations of trust. It is a journey.

When trust is broken, the relationship should kick in. That is how trust should be re-established.... relationally. This can be messy, hard, painful even.

Maybe that is why we seem to default towards distrust as a value.

Trusting is hard work. Control is paperwork.

Maybe we should follow the trend of our times and choose to go paperless more... risk it.

[Should the church not be the ONE place where we should take up this risky journey and practice trust - at least with each other?]

I believe trust is true stewardship. Both ways - trusting and being trusted.

Try risking it more.

Second naievety

2009-03-10T17:01:00.003+02:00

Had breakfast with a friend today. I love breakfasts. Not only is it a "fresh start", but coffee seems so normal to everyone then.... [as it should always be].

He mentioned something that stayed with me.
He said one should reach a level of "second naivety" in life.

The first level is one where you are as a child. You do not know. You have no experience. You lack wisdom. This is a very important phase of life. Children who cannot just be naive and be kids, loose out on life....

The second level of naivety, is where you know, where you have experience, have a degree of wisdom. And still you CHOOSE to be naive about certain things.

Like love.
Like beauty.
Like trust.
Like friendship.

...like God.... and Jesus, and the 'none-sense' that a relationship with them entails.

[Is this not what Jesus meant when He said we as adults should BE like children again?]

I meet so many clever, intelligent, wise and dynamic people. I love them for their knowledge and insight.

I also very often mourn inside for their lack of naivety.

The 7th day

2009-03-08T15:18:00.006+02:00

By the seventh day God had finished his work. On the seventh day he rested from all his work. God blessed the seventh day. He made it a Holy Day, because on that day he rested from his work, all the creating God had done. [Genesis 2:3]

Today is the seventh day. The day God rested. The day me and my family chose, two years ago, to follow His example and rest too every 7th day.

This seems normal. It is not. Not if you are a Christian. Then the 7th day means something else. It means "church". Going there. Doing stuff there. It means religion.

When, as a Christian, you understanding of church changes, everything changes. Things that was considered "sacred" becomes "secular" and things that was considered "secular" becomes "sacred". This happens with time also. All time is sacred to me. But the 7th day is a special kind of sacred.... and not because of religion, but because of rest.

If God rested, who am I not to?

And resting revives, recuperates, restores, recreates and resurrects.
Mind, body and (especially) soul.

The Dark Side of the Moon

2009-03-06T19:28:00.003+02:00

I heard an unbelievable thing today: about a SA Christian businessman that is planning to plant a cross on the moon.....

.... its gonna cost around R400' 000 000. (US$40 million).

I think now I have heard it all.

What kind of a witness is that gonna be? Who is going to be impressed? The 40 million people who could have had a meal? The Muslim world who hates the Western Imperialistic attitude? The Chinese? Atheists? Jews? Buddhists?

Nope. Maybe, and only, certain Christians. Christians who are impressed by millions of Rands that is spent on buildings, TV shows, rallies and Christianese gifts.

Above and beyond the money, just think of the energy that is wasted on such complete rubbish in the name of Jesus. Just a modern Crussade.

When I hear things like this, I am proud to announce that I am NOT a Christian.
I am a follower of Jesus Christ.

And no - it is not necessarily the same thing.

Death by Structure

2009-03-03T17:57:00.003+02:00

Something happened today that once again focused my attention on the toxic effect that institutionalism could have on perfectly normal functioning people. Then, just as I reminded myself of my own extreme tendency towards basically everything, a book that I ordered arrived via courier. Titled: Death by Church.

I felt like I was being watched....

Me and a couple of friends are having this ongoing joke about nice slogans to print on T-Shirts. I've got one that I will wear with pride: "If you like institutions, you won't like me."

Yes, dammit, I AM extremely negative about it. Come on, please face it: institutions that grows past creativity has always done more harm to any cause than good. Same goes for religious institutions. No, ESPECIALLY true with religious institutions.

Someone asked me: "How can you bash the institutions, when they feed you." Exactly. If you tolerate their poison because they are feeding you, you are already past the point of terminal illness.

Structure is necessary. But only when it stays invisible.

Have you ever thought about when the body's structure becomes visible? Yep. When you are dead. Decomposed. Exposed. A skeleton is only helping when it is surrounded by living organs, muscles and blood. When it covers it completely. When it is invisible, and manipulated by living parts of the body - not the other way round.

There are far too many walking, talking, praying skeletons out there, convincing people that they are only of use when they are in control and very visible.

I believe the structure of church are supposed to be invisible, so that the living parts of it could actually mean something in this world.

Hot, dry and dusty

2009-03-02T15:29:00.005+02:00

We went camping with some friends at a game ranch this weekend. Now, please take note that I am NOT someone especially excited by the idea of going through a lot of effort in order to rest. Also, I always had the silly idea that one should experience a ‘comfort up-grade’ when you decide to relax and rest…. Not a ‘discomfort up-grade’ or a ‘down-grade’ from your most basic needs. And when I think of camping, I think ‘dry’, ‘hot’ and ‘dusty’. African dryness, African heat, and African dust.

Not my idea of pleasure.

We were three families that took on this venture together. Seven kids between 4 and 11 years of age shared our campsite. And our arrival at the site coincided with the arrival of a soft drizzle of bushveld rain.

One of the families that went is responsible for talking the rest of us into it. They are experienced campers. Niel will fix anything with only a rope and a stick. Bapsi will cook anything on gas and her camp-kitchen is more organized that the Obama Campaign was. So, when the rain started to fall, Niel immediately had some wise words of experience for us: “Rain is not at all bad when you pitch your tent. It’s is when you have to pack away a wet tent that it becomes messy!”

I did not really understand the reasoning in his comment. To me, I was still getting wet. Who cares about the freaking tent being wet? (Especially when its rented!) But I behaved, smiled and just nodded.

I must say that I was very proud of my achievement about an hour later. (Niel did come and shift some poles, check tension on some of the ropes and did some other stuff that I believe must have been important.) But I did almost all of it myself! In the drizzle.

In the end the weekend was very enjoyable. Seriously. Our family even got up at 6am (oh boy...) on Sunday morning to go on a horse trail in the bush! (I felt very sorry for my horse, and apologised all the way, and then promised to go on a serious diet before returning in 10 years time.)

Late morning on Sunday we returned after a breakfast at the Ranch restaurant (!) to start packing. And the sun shone....

Niel was very happy. The tents were dry. I was very happy. I was dry.

As we left for Pretoria, I thought about the drizzle of blessings that surrounds us in life. And that we must sometimes get out from under your protective roof in order to experience it. God’s nature is awesome. And I am mostly hiding from it.

Did I mention that the softest of drizzle was there almost constantly over the two days? Just enough to keep us wet, cool, and block any chance of dust in the earth. And I did not even pray for it.

Maybe I might even take up camping…..

The Number one Dream Killer: Doing What Works

2009-02-21T12:05:00.004+02:00

Whenever there is something that resonates with me in a way more than the usual 'nice-to-know' stuff, I feel compelled to share it. This is one of those truths, written by Jonathan Mead on http://www.zenhabits.net/:

What’s the number one dream killer? Doing what works. By doing what works, I mean following a safe, easy, path where it’s unlikely you’ll find much that’s unknown. It’s comfortable and secure, so we think.

I don’t know about you, but I want more than just security. I want to live not simply survive. If we want to have any hope at making our dreams a reality, we have to carve out our own path. We have to find a way to get paid to be ourselves. We must drop conventional wisdom (collective assumption) and break away from the herd. But that takes courage, doesn’t it? It’s not easy taking giant leaps of faith, especially when you don’t know if there will be any floor beneath your next step. So in order to start living on our own terms, we need to do two things:

Stop caring, and…
Break our uncertainty threshold.

Since it’s the simplest of the two, let’s start with why we need to stop caring. This may seem shocking to you, but much of what’s standing in the way of you and your dreams is caring a bit too much about things that really don’t matter. Your caring too much about having new cool things causes you to spend money on things you don’t need. That money could go toward a fund for transitioning to open your own business, and doing something you love. Your caring about what other people think keeps you from asking for help — or asking for what you want — that could further you on the path toward your dreams. In the same way, caring too much about not knowing where to start keeps you paralyzed, and causes you to not take action.

This kind of caring is unhealthy. It’s getting in the way of you living the life you want to lead. So the first step is: stop caring. You don’t know how to stop caring? It’s very simple, so don’t over complicate it. Imagine what you’d do with a hot piece of coal in your hand. Naturally, you would drop it immediately. Do the same thing with caring about things that aren’t important. Scary? Yes. Worth it? Hell yes!

The second thing you need to do is push your uncertainty threshold. We all have a certain limit, or threshold, for the amount of uncertainty we can handle. For some of us, we have such a low limit, we’re afraid of even simple things, like talking to a stranger. We can’t predict what the person we’ll say, so we can’t tolerate the uncertainty. This is on the lower end of the spectrum. The higher end of the scale might be not being able to quit your job and follow your passion. There’s no way you can foresee what will happen, so you let uncertainty keep you from taking action. The thing is, what’s holding you back is mostly illusory fears. None of them are based on past events, or any real data. It’s all in your head.

So in order to pursue our dreams, we have to stop caring about not knowing. We have to push our uncertainty limit, to be able to tolerate bigger and bigger risks.

You can start small by talking to stranger or telling someone how you really feel when you would normally hold back. Whenever you feel afraid of doing something, question where the fear is coming from. Is it real, or imagined? Are you in any perceived physical danger? If not, do what you are afraid of. Push your uncertainty limit. Your dreams depend on it.The more you do this, the more you’ll be unafraid to take bigger and bigger risks.

You’ll become a lion instead of a mouse. Your dreams will start taking root in the world.

- by Jonathan Meads

Why would they want our 'community'?

2009-02-19T13:47:00.005+02:00

I've been listening to a pastor at a conference speaking on the need to 'get people into community', to let those in the neighbourhood 'experience Christian community' and to expand their small groups to about 1000 'in order to accommodate more community'.

I've been hearing this language for so long, and speaking these words myself with such conviction, that I never really thought about what we are saying...

Let's just first be clear on one thing: I believe in community. I believe in Christian community. I believe that true and authentic community is absolutely essential to what it means to be a follower of Jesus, and to spiritual growth. So just have that clear.

But here is my thing: Why on earth do we believe that people outside the faith, people who does not know Jesus - or even know us for that matter - would in the least be interested in our idea of community? Especially when it is organized in structured-like groups that has some kind of commitment towards some goal of being a Christian that they are not at all sure off or does not even believe in! And do not be fooled: I am not refering to the so called 'seekers' here. This refers to church life as we know it!

Here is what I think: authentic community will always be preceded by authentic friendship.

And watch out! Any agenda kills authenticity! True love has no agenda. Agape love means 'no strings attached'. And I do not think our Christianese thinking can accommodate this. So we will settle for 'community' without friendship because 'it is the right way to do church' - most of the time.

I've been part of small groups for over 30 years. Not ONCE did any of them start off by just promoting friendship with each other. It always had a sacred agenda. Therefor any newcomers first had to commit to the faith and the rules of the game, and then they could join a group for our so called 'community'.

What the heck are we thinking?

I believe so many small groups in churches are fake or turn out in relational disaster because they cannot just try to be friends before they try to be 'family'.

I've been part of a group that started out kind of sacred-aiming and turned out rather secular-hitting. What I mean is this: we started out as 'brothers and sisters in Christ, and turned out to become flippen good friends after 18 months of simply spending time together with no sacred agenda, Bible Studies or any expectation of spiritual growth.

We intentionally avoided spiritual growth talk, and discovered a new kind of love for each other in the process. And we did it without holding hands and praying for each other (I'm sorry, I know this could happen very sincerely and mostly does, but read it in context.)

So, here is my bottom line: if we talk theology or Christianese, I am all for 'community'. Honestly.

But if we talk life, I just prefer being your friend before being spiritually related to you.

Liminal Space

2009-02-17T19:22:00.002+02:00

I am attending this event today and tomorrow, and this mornings opening session by Johan Geyser was - once again - simply "wow!".

Johan has the amazing ability to share his knowledge in such a practical way out of his personal experience, only because he learns by experience more than anything else. So he shares more than he teaches.... with incredible wisdom and insight.

In my follow up research on his session tonight (yeah, I have "Input" and "Learner" as talent themes, cannot help it) I came accross this article by Richard Rohr.

All I want to do in todays blog, is recommend that you go read it.

Please do.

What's your issue with "Institutionalized Church"?

2009-02-16T14:40:00.018+02:00

Many of my friends ask me the above question... hoping that I will simply 'get over it'. Sometimes I wish the same thing for myself.

The other feedback that I regularly get is: "There is a place for church as an institution".

Or, my favourite one: "If it's wrong, why did God allow it for centuries?" (Maybe you should ask Adam and Eve that question....)

In my previous post I referred to some classic definitions for an "institution". I think this is very important, as describing a part or section of church as 'institutional' is not a choice of definition without any real intent or meaning. It actually says a lot about the place you are describing. And sometimes it is the institution itself that does not understand this definition, and therefor they do not know what it is about them that is being criticised. Some (most!) even do not regard themselves as part of the institutionalized grouping, when they are classic examples of exactly that.

What I understand in the New Testament about church, is that Jesus definitely did NOT start an institution when he started church. He started a movement. To be exact, I read that Jesus had it against the institutionalized religious forms of His time, and the games of hierarchy, power and structure that flowed from it. Jesus had a very important method in mind when he formed His church. He did all through relationships. Personal, vibrant, dynamic and sometimes messy relationships.

Unfortunately we just cannot handle the Jesus method. We need to control, to regulate, to formulate, to predict and to structure everything from messy relational dynamics towards clean, clinical and predictable systems of understanding and efficiency.

This is exactly what is meant with the following definition of institution: "Social constructs that are based on "rules of the games" and thereby both enable and constrain behavior by applying those rules. By enabling the individual and organization to understand and predict behavior, they facilitate economic and social interaction."

Although this definition is meant within an economical context, it is absolutely chilling how the church as institution fits this description. Just look at the following words:

Social constructs...

...based on the 'rules of the games'

...enable and constrain behavior by applying those rules

...to understand and predict behaviour

...facilitate economic and social interaction.

Jesus did not mean this when he established 'ecclesia'.

Obviously there are some features of institution that aligns with what church is supposed to be. But it always makes me smile when pastors or leaders will declare "we are non-institutional, and very relational / missional etc" and just be totally oblivious to how institutional they really are, and how they are feeding the institution with their strategies, mindsets, theology or style.

Here is the main difference between an institutional approach, and a relational approach (towards anything): the one is based on structures of control and formula's, the other is based on a journey of experiments and discovery. This is true of ANY institution compared to ANY relationship. Sometimes there are people who dares to infiltrate a strong institutional model or system with a relational approach that makes room for unpredictable discovery and experiments, rather that predictable results and outcomes. And magic happens!

Examples? (To understand these examples you might need to get to the story-behind-the-story of these people...)

Martin Luther and Katharina von Bora within the Roman Catholic Institution
Nelson Mandela in a post-apartheid role of leadership within the SA Political Institution
Mother Theresa and her faithful nuns within the Indian Religious Institutions
Jesus Christ and His disciples within the Judaistic Religious Institution

The fact that we made a movement into an institution and gave it the name that pointed to 'ecclesia' does not make it right, best or even tolerable.

The fact that we made a movement into an institution and gave it the name that pointed to 'ecclesia' ALSO does not prevent God from using it, or having grace with it.

Obviously.

In his book "The Forgotten Ways", Alan Hirsch points out that the movement of ecclesia was spurred on in history by one phenomenal characteristic: persecution. This is especially the case today in the religiously regulated communist China - where the Christian church is growing organically like nowhere else on earth or in history.

Why?

I believe this is because persecution demolishes an institution within its roots.

Not one of the characteristics of institution that is formulated in the above definition can stay functional within an environment of persecution - but a movement thrives on the danger, uncertainty and unpredictable nature of it!

Does this mean the only hope for the church to become what Jesus intended it to be, will be through persecution at large? Maybe that could happen and play a role... or maybe we should simply open our eyes to what 'persecution' really means within a materialistic post-modern society. Maybe our mission (should we choose to accept it), will lead us to be persecuted in strange ways... ways that might make us leave the institutional bondage willingly.

Divine Nobodies.... or Institutional Somebodies?

2009-02-15T18:12:00.013+02:00

I recently read the first book by Jim Palmer, entitled 'Divine Nobodies'. You will note that this is currently the #1 on my list of worthwhile books to read. Seriously, an absolute must read! You can read and extensive review of the book here.

Usually books that grips you has some kind of a connection with your own journey. Much of Jim's book is exactly that to me.... especially his journey out of institutionalized (mega church) religion towards a non-dualistic Jesus centered real-life relationship with God.... and with people! And maybe it is this second aspect that really overwhelmed me in his book: the fact that relationships with ordinary, everyday people (like yourself, hopefully) are just as important as your relationship with God! You cannot confess a relationship with God with your mouth and not be truthfully interlinked with people in real, honest relationships.

The subtitle of the book is a sentence that I so much connect with: "Shedding religion to find God... and the unlikely people who help you."

Here is my honest opinion at this stage of my journey: I firmly believe that you cannot shed religion while you are part of / involved in / a member of an institutionalized church - no matter how 'open', 'renewal-minded', relational, missional, charismatic, pentecostal, reformed, 'out-of-the-box', contemplative, hip, post-modern, cool or free you are. Because, unfortunately, where there is institutionalized church, there are 'Divine Somebodies', instead of 'Divine Nobodies'.

To understand what is meant with "divine nobodies', you have to read the book (or at least the review).

As for what is meant with "institution", I like most the following definitions within the context that I see it play out in church and religion:

Social constructs that are based on "rules of the games" and thereby both enable and constrain behavior by applying those rules. By enabling the individual and organization to understand and predict behavior, they facilitate economic and social interaction. ...www.microinsuranceacademy.org/glossary

Other definitions that is helpful in understanding the institutional phenomenon, are:

Location of research. Retains ultimate responsibility for human subject regulation compliance.www.serrg.com/resources/glossary/

Institutions are structures and mechanisms of social order and cooperation governing the behavior of a set of individuals. ...en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Institution

an establishment consisting of a building or complex of buildings where an organization for the promotion of some cause is situated wordnet.princeton.edu/perl/webwn

a custom that for a long time has been an important feature of some group or society; wordnet.princeton.edu/perl/webwn

As this post is getting too long, I'll rather go into my institution-issue next time....

Getting Real... Staying Real...

2009-02-14T19:12:00.013+02:00

It is "Idols Season" in South Africa again. I must confess: I am an addict. I especially love the laughing and the crying - and most of all the laughing until you are crying!

South Africa even has its own Simon Cowell - the "judge out of hell". Randall Abrahams makes the hopeful frown, cry, shout and sigh. But he is seriously my absolute favourite! Why? Simply because you can count on Randall to always be dead honest. Never will you see him be influenced by looks, smiles, or especially by his fellow judges (who are, by the way, very much tuned in to each other in terms of judging. Except for Randall, that is.)

I love honesty. Even though I sometimes find it hard to be honest myself, especially towards friends (!), I have the greatest respect for people, organizations, movements, political parties and churches who are simply honest.

My nearly four decades on this planet has shown me that the song by Billy Joel is all too true: "Honesty is such a lonely word... everyone is so untrue."

And one of these places where my mind is blown when people just cannot be honest about themselves, is within the church, within ministry or within Christian ventures.
Just this past week I was part of a meeting of a bunch off wonderful, well meaning and extremely talented Christians, all of us part of starting a new project within the publishing industry. As everybody did not know each other, we started off whith a "get to know each other" session. Everybody shared about their own background, passion, family and then also on what they where hoping for and dreaming for in this new exciting venture.

I immediately became very excited as everyone shared on how they hoped for this venture not to be the common 'middle of the road' Christian publication, full of 'Christianese' and 'feel good Christian stories'. As these things are so much part of the things I absolutely hate about institutionalized religion, I was so excited to hear the words that I so associate with. Especially the dream that this publication should be one that everybody - not only Christians - will want to read, and not only be another nice read by Christians for Christians, really excited me.

Then the planning started.... and I felt my excitement slowly drain out of my body. I was having a serious attack of 'Institutionalized dejavu'. It was the same 'feel-good-Christianese-holy-and-saved' ideas and words that filled the room.

After about 30 minutes of this, I decided to say something. I commented that, if we are to be honest about reaching people outside the faith, we must consider at least including some non-Christians in the profiles that we plan to speak to and write about. I couldn't even finish speaking my mind when I was interrupted. "No way! We are going to loose all integrity and credibility if we associate with people like the ones you mentioned!" was the response. Most of the others around the table nodded and agreed.
I was stunned. I replied: "Well, that's okay, but then we must say upfront that we are not targeting that market, but simply target middle class Christians who feels safe and comfortable within their religion."

Once again I experienced the trade mark of institutionalized religion: saying you are something that you simply are not. Expressing a value that you do not value.

Modernists describes themselves as post-modern. Relationally starved people are teaching seminars on relationships. Hierarchical-mechanical churches labels themselves as organic and relational. So the examples goes on and on....

Me and a friend talked about this after the meeting, and we once again agreed that throwing a tantrum and running out won't change anything in these situations (I did not do either of the two!). But maybe we should just do more of a "Trojan Horse" kind of infiltration where we get the opportunity to change the minds and hearts of Christians, and influence and persuade them to be more honest.

Years ago I once told the leaders of a mega church that they should not say they are missional when they are not. They should not say they are post modern when they are not. They should not say they are relational when they are not. They still say all of the above, but they are not one of those things. It is a trademark of Christianity to NOT be honest about who you are and what you stand for.

I am not proposing that ministries, churches or Christians change what they feel called to do or to be. But I just wish I could experience more honesty, by not saying you want to do one thing and then aiming in another direction. By not branding yourself as yellow and then turn out blue.

Be who you are. But just be honest about it....