Sterwens Gesang

[vir Louisa Dorethea Mulder]

(na aanleding van WH Auden se gedig: “Funeral Blues”; verwerk deur Dries Lombaard)

Stop die horlosies, trek uit die foon;
Maak stil die musiek se vrolike toon.
Maak toe die klavier, en op ritmiese trom
Dra stadig die kis, laat die roubeklaers kom.
Laat orrelsang speel op eensame noot
Laat ons huil en ween: ons ma is dood.

Geen grappe, geen feeste – voel die seer en die sleg;
Laat ons mekaar styf vashou en huil – want sy is weg.
Los koerante, radio, los werk, vergeet sport
Sy was so lank met ons, hoekom voel dit so kort?

Sy was ‘n vrou, ‘n mamma, ‘n ouma, ‘n vriendin;
Lief vir die bosveld, die see, ‘n mooi Afrikaanse sin…
Met kleinkinders om haar kon sy vir jou wys:
Hoe ‘n skulp gevorm is… hoe beskuit moet rys.

Skakel die sterre af, pak op die son en die maan
Laat die see stil word, laat die tyd stil staan.
Sy is by haar Here, haar geliefdes - haar wedloop is oor;
Sy sit aan by ‘n feesmaal, geniet die engelekoor.

Die wete gee vrede, maar verlange sal groei
Dis die seer van haar lee plek wat ons harte laat bloei.
Louisa Dorethea, watter vrou – watter ma!

Vandag rou ons oor jou, en oor ons eensame pa.

Stop die horlosies, trek uit die foon;
Maak stil die musiek se vrolike toon.
Maak toe die klavier, en op ritmiese trom
Dra stadig die kis, laat die roubeklaers kom.
Laat orrelsang speel op eensame noot
Laat ons huil en ween: ons ma is dood.

All work and no play....

As always, Len Sweet got my mind racing during the last Water Advance at Orcas Island with his thought provoking statements. When introducing his wife to those in the group who has never met her before, he made the following remark: "Elizabeth and I does not work on our marriage. Just as one does not "work a violin".... you play it. Our marriage is a melody and a symphony, and we play it together."

Obviously a broken violin needs work and cannot be played, but, having played the violin for many years myself, I now that NOT playing it regularly (daily!) leads to the instrument losing it's tone. The more you play it, the more beautiful its sound becomes.

I love the analogy. And I also think it is not only true of a marriage. It is true of all relationships. Of friendships. Of parenting. And, of course, of your relationship with God. Do you approach it as work, or as play? (Play not merely in a sense of "fun" - that also! - but in a sense of "making music").

I honestly believe that "working" on your relationship with God in a structured, doctrinal and formulated way is not the way to get the symphony between yourself and God playing. That is why I believe that religion is a deadly toxin. It makes us "work on God". We need to be in harmony with God, with Him playing us - like an instrument of beauty. And us allowing Him to get the beautiful sounds out of who we are.

Maybe other metaphors works better for you, like "painting" or "sculpting" or "poetry". The bottom line here is we need to get away from the burdensome moralistic approach to our relationship with God. He gave us Jesus for a reason: to help us become creators (like Him) rather than slaves of religion.

Loving being in love

We've just passed Valentines Day. Me and my wife never really take notice of Valentines Day. This year, we actually thought about going away for the day, but in the end just being home and having a quiet Sunday won hands down.

Today my eldest, about to turn thirteen, out of the blue asked us when we sat together before dinner" "Are you guys still in love".

True to her female side, my wife immediately replied: "Of course yes!"

True to my male side, I replied: "Of course not."

Oops.
The stares burned holes through my being.

I tried to recover with an innocent question: "What do you mean with 'in love'?"

"Well, do you feel awkward when you see each other, and think about each other all the time when you are apart?"

"Nope" I replied. My wife's glance prompted a swift response.
"You are referring to being in love, yes. But we are passed that. We simply love each other. The difference is this: We do not feel awkward when we see each other, but when we don't see each other. And we do not think of each other all the time when we are apart, but when we are together, we think ahead about not being together..."

"Sweet...." replied my teenage daughter. My wife's smile confirmed my recovery.

Afterwards I thought about what I said (typical male, I know). And I realized that it actually makes a lot of sense, and that it is true. Loving someone turns the table from being 'in love'. Being together becomes the norm, and being apart becomes the weird part.

I think being in love is the lift off that the spaceship needs. But staying the course on the long journey in space is what makes it all worth while.

Review of "A Million Miles in a Thousand Years"

Donald Miller became a favourite author of mine the day I started reading "Blue like Jazz", a couple of years ago. With "A Million Miles in a Thousand Years" he did not disappoint me.... to the contrary.

I do not know what it is about Miller's writing style that is so captivating. Even in the slowish way that this book started, he kept me interested, expecting something to happen on the next page. About a quarter through the book, I was intrigued with the way he brings the whole meaning and relevance of "the story" to the forefront. I felt motivated to sign up for one of Robert McKee's workshops myself!!

But it is in the last quarter of the book that Don got to me in a big way. I am not sentimental, not in the least. I even dread people who likes to create "moments". But the honesty, and realness of the stories that Don tells, griped me deep. I never cry while reading. Not with this book either. But I did cry on the inside...

I think the skillful way in which Don miller weaves hope, love and honesty together in a tapestry of life, is what makes this book a must read. But even more - a must have. Because there are parts of it you will definitely want to read to your spouse at bedtime. Like I will do with chapter Chapter 24, tonight.

One sentence that sums the book up best for me personally? The last sentence of Chapter 30: "We have to make altars." Go figure. [Go read].

Forests and Plantations

Ever got lost in a dense, tropical forest? Every tree later looks the same. Plantations are different. You don’t get lost there, really, as you can simply follow the neatly structured row of trees until it leads you out of the woods.

The buzz word in society today is “organic”. The more organic, the better. Organic means natural, living and pure. But organic can also be faked. Growing something in controlled environments and then calling it organic is, well, not really the “real thing”, is it? Its like the difference between standing in front of an electric fan, and standing outside in the wind. Feels similar. Is not.

What makes a forest different to a plantation is not the fact that it is growing and living. It is more about “how” it grows, and lives. The structured and controlled environment of a plantation is very purposeful. It is about production. Period. Does not make it less alive, or less organic… to an extend. But it does make it controlled, planned and maintained. For a reason.

Our spiritual lives could be plantations, or forests. Both is very much alive. Both is real. But, in my view, only one is truly “organic”. It is the uncontrolled, naturally growing and humanly unmaintained one. When the nature of it maintains it, it is truly organic.

And still – it is the same life-giving creator God who makes forests and plantations grow….

Goodfellas

This is a time where a lot of people are seriously into "sensing". You hear and read a lot about "sensing and feeling". Spirituality comes to the forefront as a lot more sensing than thinking. I am learning to sense. To use my senses. To "come to my senses". To be sensible.

Most of all, we need to get a sense of life. We need to learn to read the signs of the times - which is a lot more sensing than anything else. It is something that is caught, more than taught.
I had the privilege to have many guests share my home in the past couple of years. Many of them foreigners - mainly from the USA. All of them became friends... some very close friends.

I just had a great time of fun and laughter, learning and discussion, chilling out and being serious, with two new friends from the States. They taught me a lot about Christ, His church, community, the Bible, people etc. But most of all, the sensibility of having fun - always. I had so much fun woven through the work we did, that the work was also more fun than ever.

They taught me to sense things in a very new and different way.

One sense that they have more than most other guests that I have received, is a sense of humour. They can laugh! They love to make fun. To create it. To sustain it. They have a sense of the importance of laughing, playing, having fun, chilling out, hanging, just being.

Religion made us "serious". Spirituality makes us "deep". Maybe a good dose of regular humour is exactly what we need to become human again.

I sensed a lot of their spirituality and wisdom more through their sense of humour than I did through a sense of seriousness.

I am sensing something new. Something beautiful. Something that you must sense, before you will see it.

I think I sense freedom of another kind.

Thanks Frankie V and "Joey" R. You're good fellas. "This is what I was talkin about all this time."

Inventions & Designs

More often than not, when part of a planning initiative, project start-up or new venture, the following words are uttered: "Let's just not re-invent the wheel." And then everybody nods slowly to affirm this very deep wisdom.

I also found that the moment those words are spoken, it is like blowing out the candle of creativity and initiative. Hhmmm....

I am not at all sure that this statement is a sign of wisdom... at all. I mean, why on earth would anybody who is in any why informed want to re-invent something that already exists? Someone who re-invents anything, is simply doing so out of ignorance.

We need to distinguish between the necessity of new inventions, and the absolute necessity of new designs. Any creative mind will always strive to keep on re-designing. And we absolutely need to do so. It is being well informed, that leads to new designs. The more you know, the more you know what is needed.

We cannot re-invent leadership, but we constantly need to re-design it.
New day, new leader.
We cannot re-invent parenting, but we constantly need to re-design it.
New day, new parent.
We cannot re-invent humanity, but we constantly need to re-design it.
New day. New world.
We cannot re-invent ourselves, but we constantly need to re-design ourselves.
New day. New me.

We cannot re-invent the gospel of shalom (wholeness).
But I am absolutely convinced that we need to constantly re-design it.

New day. New hope.

[So, before you ask the "re-invention-question" ever again, firts make sure you are part of a group of inventors... and not designers.]